Please tell me if I'm in the wrong or not.
I was bathing my 2 littlies when I heard my partner say "just shut the f up" my 11yr old daughter (his step) replied "it wasn't 2 days" him "shut the f up dummy" .
As I came out to see what on earth was going on he was going in our room. I went in and asked what was going on. He said nothing, I said I heard what you said, he said don't worry about it. I said I heard you say .... (As above) he fully denied it and said he didn't say it and don't worry about it. I went and asked my daughter what happened and she said ... dad said I went in the pool 2 days even though I've been off school sick for 3 days . I said no I didn't , he said yes you did. I said I only went in today and I was better today. He said shut the f up it was 2 days I said no it wasn't 2 and he said shut the f up dummy and went in his room....
After hearing her say that I was angry and upset. He asked me what my problem was and I said I'm pissed off about how he spoke to her and then lied about it and that he always says he didn't say things when he did. He started going off that it's my fault I went behind his back and went and asked her instead of shutting up when he told me not to worry about it. I said I didn't go behind your back I asked you first and you flat out lied to me so I asked her. He still kept saying I told you don't worry about it you should have listened. I said I'm sick of him saying he didn't say things or that he said things even though the whole house (6others) heard or didn't hear him and then he lies about it. He then started trying to say I did things I didn't so we argued about that then he started mocking me and being an arse so I walked out and told him he can get fked then . Is it my fault ? Should I have just left it ?
Am I in the wrong?
Am I in the wrong?
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage
9 Replies
So he’s abusive to children, lies about it, is aggressive when you don’t do as he says and ignore it, when you push it he mocks you and blames you and brings up random things to turn it around on you (gaslighting), and now you want to know if it’s your fault?
He sounds like a 12 year old, and a cunt. Not someone I’d have around my kids. Not someone I’d try to have a real conversation with, or trust what he said or want to engage with. That’s crazy-making, trying to deal with someone you just can’t get sense, truth or maturity out of.
The problem is he said that thinking you couldn't hear him. So that's the way he speaks to her when you're not there. I couldn't trust someone that does that. I know plenty of people that swear at or with their kids but it's just part of their house, not really in a hurtful way they are just words. But in your case it seems to be he treats her differently when you aren't looking and that is a concern.
Gaslighting cunt.
Haha say it how it is
Yes.
Omg he is trying to silence your daughter and lie about what happend and speak to her like shit! I’m
Sorry but he has issues and your daughter needs her voice and be taught to speak up. Good for her and good for you for speaking up to Him. Who does he think he is and why lie! I wouldn’t put up with anyone speaking to my kids like that. He sounds like an abusive manipulator. Why the hell would you leave it!! Keep standing up for your little girl and teach her to keep speaking up!
Anyone that would speak to a child like that deserves a kick to the face. Don't do it, just because they deserve it doesn't mean it's allowed.
What you do now though, that will influence the direction your daughters life will take. You're her protector and if you don't she will decide she deserves to be spoken to like that and she'll never expect better. It's how kids minds work.
Are you going to boot him until he gets his shit in order or are you going to teach her to shut up and allow every arrogant piece of shit she meets to speak to her like that?
It's bad enough we all have to negotiate our way through a world full of them without the asshole being in the family home.
Even if he apologises and says it won't happen again, you tell your daughter that no matter if he does it where you can't hear - she tells you and you'll deal with it. And deal with it. Don't let her down.
I agree
I would seriously re evaluate being in this relationship.
The relationship between your daughter and a fatherly figure is showing her what to expect in relationships when she is older, this is showing her that it’s okay to be spoken to like this and belittled….. I’m not even sure what the issue is. Who cares if she did swim every day.