I wrote in a few weeks ago about spending money and have nothing to show for it and my partner is now keeps throwing it in my face. I would like to clarify I did get some help and I was diagnosed with adhd and received treatment and have better control of my reckless spending. I did find out my partner was spending money on pokies and he has now lost all our money and was taking it out on me and blaming me for it.
4 Replies
sorry to hear that, what an asshole. I hope you're leaving now?
Recklessness with money is a big one when it comes to mental health. That's not a free pass to continue but I can see you're not making excuses. You're getting help and hopefully will reign that back.
The fact that your "partner" has taken it upon himself to blame you for what he was doing is not ok.
He either commits to a plan for family finances (and if you're not in a good place yet get a trusted friend or family member to help) or you fuck him off because if he's not going to help he's going to plant your family in a lot of financial pain.
Gosh, I'm really angry for you!
I remember your post, I remember how honest you were with your spending problems, I remember how hard he was grilling you about where the money had gone and I remember sensing how confused you were and how desperately you wanted to be able to but genuinely couldn't recall where it went. Meanwhile he was actually gambling it away?! That's some expert level gaslighting on his behalf!
I'm not sure I'd be able to get past that to be honest.
At the very least, I really hope you're both getting some professional help X
Agree. The gambling is one issue. The mindfuckery is a dealbreaker though. And you know what? Gaslighting usually does come with a bunch of other horrible traits too, like cheating lying manipulating abusing, so yes, that would open my eyes to him and I’d be done there.