Today is my 10 year wedding anniversary, and the gift my husband bought me is just not ‘me’ at all. I felt awful because I just couldn’t hide the fact that I don’t like it. It’s a gift that he obviously put thought into, so I don’t want to hurt his feelings, but honestly, for the amount of money he spent on it he could have bought me a special piece of jewellery, or an amazing experience at a day spa.
Gift giving has NEVER been a strong suit of his, so I don’t understand why he wouldn’t ask my best friend or even just ask me.
How do I prevent this from happening again?
11 Replies
I tell people not to give me gifts. I don't like receiving presents, at all. I feel awkward expressing myself and it's upsetting to me.
I love giving though and put a lot of thought to it. You probably have hurt his feelings if you felt it difficult to camouflage your feelings.
You can always ask that the gift giving only be for the children from then onwards and put the money towards gifts for the house only.
I guess that's the thing about gifts, you can't control what someone else buys you! If you knew he was a bad gift buyer you could have told him exactly what you wanted in the lead up to it. Or suggested not to buy gifts for each other. My husband and I don't buy any gifts for each other we just go somewhere like a comedy show, concert, dinner and drinks.
He wanted to do something special for you, and he did, and he didn’t go and get someone else to get it for you. I think you need to be more gracious in receiving and more grateful for what you’ve received. Unless it has someone else’s name on, or is a household appliance, then you have 10 years of marriage and a husband that went out of his way to spoil you.
I put a lot of research and thought into gifts. My partner not so much, I have far too many bottles of cheap chemist perfume that are only used for bug bites.
These days I pick what I want/need. No it's not romantic haha, but it's just not a strong point in some. You can't fight nature.
Next year, plan something in advance like a weekend away. Or, like my mother and step dad, they simply get themselves something nice, they spend the day together doing so
Why would he want to ask your friends for gift advice? It's not their anniversary it's yours and your hubby's, maybe he just wanted to think of something that came from the heart. But I think you thought you were going to get something else and were looking forward to something else. If I was hubby I would have just told you that atleast you won't have to worry about disappointment again because you won't be getting a gift again.
My husband and i make lists of the things we would like for birthdays, mothers/fathers day, Xmas and send them to each other close to the days. That way we get something we will use within our budget. Easy.
My husband did this exact thing about 5 years ago. He bought me a chunky gold chain which is just not me at all, I wear dainty jewellery. I really didn’t know what to do but he paid so much money for it, and I knew I wouldn’t wear it so I was honest with him. He was offended deep down I think but I ended up exchanging it for something else and I now wear it all the time. My husband still brings it up every now and again but at least I’m wearing something now that’s 100% me! Just be honest!
Easy don’t do gifts. Or buy something together. After 10 years he shouldn’t need to be asking your friends, that’s very teen, new relationship stuff, he should either know what you like , or just ask. Or you hint all year
I'm sorry but be grateful you got a gift. I've been married 30 years and have never received an anniversary present. Also on my birthday, my husband will as the night before, after all the shops have closed, what I want.
My husband and I have wish lists, super unromantic but it works haha