Please no judgement sisters and sorry if it's long
I've been married for over 8 years but been together for over 15. We got together when I was young. In our time together we've had children, I've suffered miscarriages including twins, I've suffered mentally with anxiety and health anxiety which has been under control for a few years now and feels amazing. I feel like since I have gotten older I just don't put up with things anynore and realise my worth. Like my eyes have finally opened. My husband has always had slight anger problems. I've always supported him and his business and goals. I've sat and listened to what is stressing him, I've tried not to nag, and feel like I've been a puppy all this time just saying yes to all his ideas, agreeing to everything to avoid conflict and saying sorry when things aren't my fault. He has never asked how I am, how was my day. No communication. When things need to be talked about, like the house, bills, marriage..all the important things..he either walks away mid conversation to his office or gets defensive then it's all my fault and I apologise non stop just for voicing my worries. He has a large business debt and doesn't want to talk about it. Through covid he voluntarily quit work so he wouldn't get the vaccine so he started selling second hand stuff. Our house was full and looked like hell. He has always done what he wants. The kids and I these days walk on eggshells because he is dominating. I feel as though I deserve better, I've been a stay home mother for nearly 13 years and feel like I'm wanting more. I want to do things with friends without him getting pissy, I want to feel excitement and live life on my terms. If I ever decided to leave I'd have to move in with my parents and I know the kids would hate that but he will never change and the freedom I need is only growing.
2 Replies
You are so lucky you have the option of somewhere to go. You know what you want. You have already wasted how many years of the one life that you get to live and you have been living it how he wants you to. This isn’t living. Don’t worry about what your kids think, get them and go live with your parents. Break free and live the life you want and deserve. Also by doing this you can put you first for once and have no once to answer to. This is life and your kids have to adapt to it. You can get out with them, so you don’t need to be around your parents all the time. Mostly you will be free and no longer have to answer to your husband. Apply for centrelink single parent payment and go from there. You won’t look back and remember, he doesn’t own you and you do not have to Answer to him. Life is so precious, please don’t waste any more time living like this. Go and enjoy your freedom.
If you feel like you deserve better, you do. If he can’t respect that and work on making things right for both of you to be happy, then I would take the steps necessary to leave. It’s great if you have your parents who would support you through something like that 💖