Where to start
So back in October I attended a very good friends 40th her sister and I have been friends for more than 20 years, I drank but not to much because I had an appointment the next day that I couldn't miss. I had 3 beers and 3 vodka and juice.
My problem comes with the last drink I had (made it myself) being at my friends house I felt safe to leave it when I needed to go to the loo, turns out it wasn't and that drink was the last thing I remember. I ended up leaving early (only know how early because i was staying at my mums) I was so terribly ill but I didn't want to upset anyone so I never mentioned to my friend what happened.
Now I hadn't heard from my friend since the party I messaged them before Christmas and they had a go at me saying they had no time for this crap and they dissapointed.
I explained I had no memory of that night and had no idea what they where talking about. They told me they would not say any more on it and I haven't heard from them since.
I have spoke to a few of the others that i knew at the party and they said they didn't know anything either and my sister was with me and helped me home said I was with her the whole time.
I don't know what to do please help
Loss of friendship after my drink was spiked
Loss of friendship after my drink was spiked
Posted in:
Life Lessons, Relationships & Marriage
17 Replies
Is it possible you behaved inappropriately or caused a scene after your last drink?
I'm not trying to cast doubts on your story, I genuinely do believe that this happened to you. Unfortunately it's just that "I can't remember/I had my drink spiked" is a very convenient excuse people use to avoid taking accountability after having simply gotten too drunk. Maybe thats what your friend thinks?
Also from your friends perspective, if I threw myself a birthday party, people I loved and trusted would be in attendance so it would throw me for 6 if one of my guests claimed they had been drugged by another of my guests.
I think you're best putting your energy into processing and healing from this frightening and violating experience rather than whatever your friend's problem is.
If your sister was with you, ask her. If you think you were drugged did you not already go over it with your sister and also let your friend know. Is that why she’s upset? People react differently and as said above she may just take offence if it looked like you were drunk and disorderly and then claiming one of her close friends spiked you.
Yes and she is the reason I left early. She noticed I wasnt myself acting odd so ordered us a taxi and she took me back to our mums where they looked after me.
It’s a bit rude of your friend to not listen and explain to you what happen. Message her and ask her what happened? What did your sister say what had happened. Your friend sounds a bit selfish if she can speak with you about it. Some friend. If she isn’t prepared to listen get rid of her.
The friend may have been a sober, first hand witness to the whole thing. Maybe worth asking her story first?
Did you not read what I wrote🤦🏼♀️
I have and she won't tell me whatbit is I apparently done if I have upset them I am want to know so I can apologise and try make it right but as soon as my sister noticed my behaviour (not normal for me) she ordered us a taxi and we left almost immediately.
It could have been anything that made you sick. You have no proof that your drink was spiked and if it was, whoever did it would have tried to "take care" of you when you went downhill or what is the (evil) point of drink spiking? I would be very offended and upset if my friend tried to say this happened in my home without thinking of other possibilities first. It could have really been that sixth drink being too much for you, you don't need to drink 12 drinks for that to happen.
To be fair, those exact same things happen when you pour your own spirits and drink too much too fast.
Exactly, could have been double or triple the standard, the more I drink the more I pour 😂
Way to victim blame. Maybe because her sister was there with her they didn't get a chance as you put it "take care " of her when she went downhill
I’ve had this happen to me, it was a terrifying experience.
Luckily my friends knew that my behaviour was totally out of character.
I’d try and get the story from someone who might be not so keen to protect your feelings. Your sister might not want to tell you the details.
But I’d also question if my friend is a genuine friend, if they didn’t realise something was wrong, or out of character for you.
I think thats what hurts my sister noticed it wasn't my normal behaviour. But my friend of more than 20 years didn't and has since stopped talking to me
Did you get tested to actually make sure you were spiked or are you just making it up/assuming?
You’re throwing around accusations without giving the full story.. if you don’t know whether you were spiked then that’s a pretty big accusation.
And 3 vodkas, how much vodka was going in? 6 drinks is still quite a lot, particularly spirits involved and mixing drinks.
Maybe you said something inappropriate or did something? But only they know as it was directly to them.
People are pretty forgiving about party shenanigans. I think it has to be something personal, which narrows it down to either drunkenly having it out at the party (which you don’t remember) or being fed up if you often have drama or an excuse to spin the conversation around to you being the victim. I don’t know which it is.
End of the day, if they’re done and have no concern for you then that’s where your road needs to end.
Lesson for you for next time, go to a hospital and check, so you at least have peace of mind about what’s happened to you and you can follow up if someone you know is doing this - they need to be charged, it needs to be handled correctly and you will need evidence.
After speaking with others at the party including my sister they didn't see me do anything that would have triggered this reaction as for being fed up thats a pretty presumptuous opinion of me considering you don't know me.
Im not a big drinker and know my limits thats why I only took and drank 6 drinks, I am literally the last person that will start drama, I'm a non confrontational person and keep my head down. Im an almost 40 yr old married mother of 3, I dont do drama!
Yes indeed a lesson learned about going to the hospital. But I hadn't realised what had happened to me until I spoke to my friend who happens to be a nurse. I still now months on have no recollection of that night.
Well if that doesn’t fit, that’s not what it is. They haven’t just drifted away, they’ve invited you to a party and then on next contact been aggressively nasty, and quite clear that they’re done with you.
I think, if that was my friend, instead of focusing on that one night, I’d ask them if there’s anything left of the 20 year friendship, and I’d take a proper look if they’re someone you want to call a friend anyway.