I'm absolutely angry and livid to say the least
My step daughter is in a lot of trouble with police and court (she is a grown adult)
Turned up at home to inform us that she is looking at a few years jail time and that she has no one to look after child (9yo) I am 100% for looking after our grand child with support from our family but how can I help our grand child adjust to not having mum around at such a fragile age? Our grand child is very mature for her age (we haven't had contact with child due to mum not being a constant contact she is an on off family contact whenever it suits her) I'm completely at in unknown water here can anyone please off any advice I'm at a point I'm worried for child's mental and emotional needs please any help is appreciated 🌻
3 Replies
Kids adjust. They struggle and they make do with what they’re dealt. Love, support, a safe home, a nice cozy bed at night will all get her through.
I would team up with her school GO and get her a good psych, but also prepare yourself and her that it’s a permanent setup. You won’t be putting her straight back to mum on release, mum might be unfit or unwilling by then. So I would set up for that from the start, and make sure that mum knows that’s part of the deal, the child will be in your care and at your decision and will only move homes again when it’s safe and right for her.
Definitely get mental health support in place for the child, and it wouldn’t hurt for you and your partner (I assume you are still with your step daughter’s father) to speak with someone as well. Get some legal advice, so that you and your partner are named as legal guardians of the child and can therefore make all decisions necessary for the child (medical/school/etc). Also contact Centrelink. You would be entitled to some form of financial support as grandparent carers. Does the child have any contact with her father? Does he pay child support? If he’s in her life, is there a reason he hasn’t stepped up to take her in full time? Don’t get me wrong, I think you’re amazing to want to take in your granddaughter, but if he’s in her life I would assume he would have to agree to you taking her in. If he’s in her life but agrees to you taking her in, you might be entitled to some child support from him. You would need to get all the legalities sorted before contacting child support about that.
We took on my sisters kids on and off their whole lives, the final time they came to live with us was 6yrs ago and they are now in our permanent care, they are 14 and 16 now. We not only provided the stability they needed, but schooling and assistance, psychological visits because they need it with all they’ve seen, support at school. Plus we tried so hard to facilitate visits for them so they didn’t lose their connection, but sadly that doesn’t always work out. We let them take the lead, even as small as their fav colors for bedding, ask them what they want washed and what’s the most important and don’t want washed (it’s usually something they have that smells like their parents, or a connection to them), never ever talk badly about the mum, always reinforce the love they have for her and over time ask if she would like to do any activities, take an interest in what she loves to do to gain a connection. She is in for a rough road and you will be the punching bag at times, but just reinforce your love, reinforce mums love, lots of patience and lean on services, there as so many out there. Also contact Centrelink to get FTB if you are eligible, get a formal guardianship in place if you can, it makes paperwork for school, Medicare, doctors, psychs, activities, Centrelink etc so much easier, oh and make sure you have her birth certificate/Medicare information or card. Best of luck, she will be ok and so will you all xx