Unsure what to do. I have separated from my husband and have the 4 children live with me. and work full time I'm receiving child support which pays mortgage. There is no left over money from cs. I pay all the bills, all kids costs. The question is the house is big and old and needs lots of work. There is always something needing fixing but love our house and don't want to sell it or uproot kids. Our kitchen is very old and we have a deck area out side area with cover which is all very old and my mum keeps telling me that I need a new kitchen and deck and we are are having ongoing problems with possums. I dont want to talk to bank as not sure my ex would apply me to loan money on mortgage? Mum wants to loan me the money to do this and I pay her back weekly. She has told me she wouldn't live with what I am (she was also a single mum). My question is do i do this adding value to house and worried when kids turn 18 he may want /try to force sale of house. Its a huge decision and unsure what to do? My ex and I already owe money to my mum when we had a business which we lost money this is what caused the end of our marriage as he started drinking a lot and things got really bad. so we are in debt to her already. She has talked about trying to get money back from him but he doesn't have it unless house sold. Help.
13 Replies
Forget what your mother thinks. If the house is functional it will do, if your budget is stretched now a new kitchen and patio shouldn't even be on your "need now" list. I was a single mum too and my main concerns was paying bills, food obviously, school and kids needs plus whatever my car needed. Anything else had to wait.
He can force the sale with settlement. If you can't afford to do up something because it could be nicer, I'm thinking you can't afford to buy him out. Don't add more debt to your situation.
Unless your kitchen and patio are in such bad shape that they pose a safety risk - they can wait!
If you're just scraping by as it is, more debt isn't what you need right now.
Sell the house, pay your mum off, split the rest and do with it whatever you will. If there's enough left over you may be able to get your own mortgage with full time employment. Your ex can push for settlement whenever he likes and he's being pretty nice if he's waiting for the kids to turn 18, especially if he has debt. It just sounds as though you both need a clean slate and that's not going to happen unless you sell your house or buy his half of him.
Pretty nice or manipulative? His cs is also counting as his mortgage payment he's getting a very sweet deal.
She's living in the house! If he wanted to get real nasty he could be making her pay him half the market rent. Anyway you look at it, it's better for both parties if that shared asset was sold sooner rather than later. It doesn't matter how long she lives in it or how much of the mortgage she pays of it he still owns half of it.
Exactly
No he couldn’t. That isn’t how renting and owning works. You can’t charge rent to someone who co-owns the place. Learn the law before giving stupid advice.
Do not invest any money in the house until after financial settlement. It could very well end up a total loss of money and an upgrade you never get to benefit from.
You need to sort this house out now so it's separated. His c's is your money. So you're paying the mortgage on a place he owns and will eventually take half of and can't do anything to it because of him. It's not a good situation, no matter how good you think the house is, you'll find better or make do just as well but be In a better position to be financial independent so whatever you do is yours for your future and noone can take it or cause you enormous stress and strain and financial loss.
You need to financially separate, and I would sell the house and finance something you can afford to win and maintain. The kids will get over the change and you have no risk.
For starters you go seek legal advice. He pays child support and he doesn’t get to dictate where it goes. If settlement means you keep the house then it’s yours and in your name. Otherwise you sell it and rent or buy within your means.
If you marriage is done you need to cut the cord. No joint assets or banks accounts full stop.
Get legal advice. Just because you have the children doesn't mean you are entitled to the house.
Don't add more debt until the house is finalised.