Does anyone else feel alienated because of their weight? Not sure if it’s all in my head but people tend to treat me so much different now then what they used to when I was a lot thinner. All of a sudden I’m the girl no one wants to talk to at parties or I never get invited anywhere. Sometimes you even hear the whispers of “geez she’s put on a lot of weight”. There’s even a lady I work with, she is older then me but everyone always wants to be served by her coz she is attractive. Just having a real dark day today!
8 Replies
Some people are so fake and all about their looks etc. reality is, you are better off without these kind of people anyway. I have put on weight from medication. I don’t need to hear the comments I get, I can’t win.
No, I don't think it's in your head. People can be so fucking superficial and prejudiced (both purposely and subconsciously) it's unbelievable!
I'm a big lass. I haven't always been so I know those kind of comments. I don't need anyone to mention I've gotten fatter, like God Dammit, I know okay?! No one knows that more than me lol.
I went in for a retail job recently, it was one of those casual group interviews. I was more qualified than anyone there and I felt I did well during the process. One of the slim, conventionally attractive, completely inexperienced girls got the job. The employer said it was only due to her having a better flexibility but I still feel like my weight may have been a factor.
Another time, a few years back I got chronically ill and lost quite a bit of weight. I felt so unwell, I'd have happily taken those kilos back just to feel normal again. Anyway, I was at school pick up one day, feeling like absolute death and one of the bitchiest, stuck up mums came over to me and raved on about how good I was looking, how I must've felt so much better getting healthier (HAH 🙄) and to keep up the hard work. I shit you not, that woman had not even acknowledged my existence in the 3 years leading up to that point. Suddenly I'm 15kgs down I'm worth talking to??
I don't think I've ever felt as insignificant as I did in that moment.
As a plus size woman, I often feel simultaneously invisible and as if I stand out like a sore thumb but for all the wrong reasons. It's exhausting and it really chips away at your self esteem.
I'm sorry this turned into a bit of a vent and it's probably not the negativity you needed right now but if you can take anything from my comment, just know you aren't alone ❤
These are the kind of people you don’t need in your life anyway. Some of my larger friends always look so lovely and then there’s me, not large and look like crap, compared to them. I also admire their confidence to do what I could never do. I wish I had their confidence. I know this isn’t the case all the time but my friends are.
It’s just Society these days. Don’t take this to heart. You are either too skinny, too fat. It’s a load of bull! not everyone is like it. Some of the skinniest girls cop a lot of criticism and judgement too. You aren’t alone so don’t think you are. It’s just society, it’s the norm these days sadly.
They don’t have to. Find your people. They are not it and you are not theirs. Weather it’s weight, finances , job position, height, addiction, disability , clubs.. list goes on. Everyone has a preference who they want in their World. And so do you.
Honestly as harsh as it is, no it's not all in your head. I am the opposite, I lost weight and people definitely treat me more different (nicer) now I'm thinner compared to when I was overweight. I heard comments behind my back and even right in front of my face.
The ones that piss me off is the people at the gym (usually newbies) who would come up and tell me to ‘keep going’ and that ‘it’s great I’m trying to loose weight’.
I’m not trying to loose weight, I’ve been working out hard for 8 years, work with a PT. The sport I’m involved in requires a bit of heftiness to be successful though and i lift big weights.
When an idiot says something like that, that’s usually when I pull out something big so I can watch there face turn red.
Yes it's true attractive people are treated more positively, they just have an easier run of things. But, people carrying more weight are not unattractive. The feeling alienated part, that leads me towards you feeling extra down on yourself and unattractive due to weight gain.
Do you wear clothes that fit your new body well? Do you feel good, put together, like yourself? If not, you're probably not acting as outgoing or confident with strangers as you were before either. People talking to you at a party - that's a confidence thing, not a looks thing. I'll chat to anyone that entertains me at a party, but there's definitely a vibe I'm looking for and a vibe I'll move away from. Maybe look at some successful people that aren't skinny to build up your self confidence. Do some self care - remind yourself what you're good at, what you bring. As I told my kids this morning when they said kids comment on their bodies you tell them "I'm not here to be attractive to you"