My husband does literally nothing. I have to ask him to do anything around the house and even then it’s half a job! “Honey can you take the rubbish out” takes the rubbish out and then doesn’t put a bin bag in the bin after… like what’s the point?!!!! “Can you do the dishes?” Does half the dishes and then states he ran out of room to do the rest, like as if he’s never heard of a tea towel!! And that’s not all!! Recently I’ve been on a nursing placement for study and I have to drive an hour and a half away to get there each day and an hour and a half back. I’ve been really tired because of it but when I come home… the house is a mess! An absolute pig stye!!! Like, I appreciate that you are watching our school aged children! That’s so wonderful, thank you, but then just to not lift a finger with anything else. All my responsibilities are still on me even though I have all this extra study work load. He goes “I support you” yeah… really feels like it… I am so angry about his lack of care and consideration towards me. What do I do?! What do your husbands do?!
9 Replies
Normal men do what normal women can do. He is bullshitting you and absolutely taking the piss are you really unsure if it's fair to expect any more ?
My husband will cook, clean, put bins out, washing, he does it all drives me nuts sometimes but I just let him go now because he gets in my way and it’s annoying. If he comes home after work and there’s dishes the kids have just been using he washes them puts them away. Sweeps the floor, vacuumes. Cleans the cars.
He just expect you to do it all. My husband wouldn’t let me. My husband does heaps for us.
He should be supporting you. My husband makes sure he helps me no matter what.
Tell him to clean up pull his weight or get out. He doesn’t appreciate how much you do.
Stop enabling him. LEAVE IT! If he does half a job, leave it. Stop picking up his slack. Write the jobs on a list on the fridge, allocate 50% to each of you with him nominating his choices. Then leave him to it. If there is no dinner then it's bread and scratch-it. If he has no clean clothes, or no clean dishes, not your problem. If the kids homework isn't done, then let him visit the teacher. He is an adult male that manages to do his job at work each day. He needs to do his job at home each day too.
My partner and i are equal, thankfully.
My exhusband did nothing and expected to be waited on hand and foot. My partner is considerate and expects nothing. He has recently had surgery so i have been looking after him and my son and the house and working and all he does is get upset and apologise constantly for how much i have to do, i’m ok because i know at the end of this, he will be back to being my equal again soon.
I’m sorry that this is not your experience, this should be everyones experience. Some men are just lazy, some just don’t care and others are ‘blind’.
Speak up, make some noise about it, if he cracks it, then you know for sure you married a child. I’d leave if i was you, if he doesn’t pick up his act.
It's not wonderful he's "watching your children" he's being a bloody father and a shitty one at that! He needs a kick up the ass, he's your partner not your child. Contribute to the damn house or piss off! So sick of useless men.
My partner does everything, cooks, cleans, takes one of the kids to work, takes them to sport, vacuums, does the washing. He's a big boy who uses his eyes to see what needs to be done and does it!
My husband's the same as yours 😔
No advice except what ever you do get on top of it now, I struggled through my study time thinking things would get better in time, he was just learning what the job of being the stay at home was 🤦♀️ ...things didn't get better, I'm a year into a full-time job in a nursing home and he still barely lifts a finger. I get home from work and he's dropped the kids at school and maybe done some of the dishes, I'm struggling so bad trying to juggle my hours and picking up all the slack at home.... Lol he has no problem going out to spend my pay though 😑