So I’ve found myself in a bit of a pickle!
My husband and I have been married for 17years, together for about 23. We have 2 children who are now of primary school/high school age.
Our sex life HAD been relatively great ~ at least 3 times per week yadda yadda yadda.
I’ve always had a bigger sex drive than him, yet it’s only come to recent times that this is posing a bigger problem in our relationship.
I started to think that maybe it was me not instigating, so I did but I was met with ‘no, I’m too tired, not tonight’ etc etc.
I feel like it’s a full role reversal on the whole ‘wife has a headache’ scenario!!
We literally only have sex maybe once a few weeks if we’re lucky!
I know there are couples who have sex less and I know there are couples who have sex a lot more, but for my relationship dropping down from 3/week to only maybe once per month is heart wrenching! Makes me feel unwanted/less sexy etc etc.
Any suggestions on how to navigate this situation would be greatly appreciated!!
Marriage Sex Life
Marriage Sex Life
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage
4 Replies
Every couples sex life is going to drop at some point. At times it will pick up again and then drop off again.
It’s important to not have your self worth wrapped up in having sex. Find otherwise to feel sexy. For me thats wearing sexy underwear or doing some spa time and self care. I still feel sexy, sex isn’t required to feel that way.
We also need to get over this terribly damaging idea that men must want sex. They get tired, stressed and have libido drops just like women. It’s normal.
You don’t say your ages and health status’s so it’s hard to give further advice.
I'm in a similar situation. It's not as likely to be a lack of love or attraction to you, as it is something like a health issue, depression, medication, being overworked etc. Men also experience hormonal fluctuations as they age and want sex less.
Don't get too much in your head about it. Have a conversation with him, preferably not in bed or after he's said no to you. Don't accuse, just ask straight out and be respectful of his feelings.
(FWIW my husband's situation is health-related, he's had surgery recently and we are still affectionate but not getting it on at the moment)
I went through a period of my husband not wanting sex because he works hard and I've acknowledge that. I just made sure I had a draw full of batteries and my trusty vibrator named billy. it's so hard and I understand where you are all coming from. Hopefully th ings get better for you ladies
I loved sex but CBF now. I need sleep more to function to provide.