I just need an unbiased opinion sisters
Are my husband and I absolutely crazy to quit our dead end jobs, sell our belongings and uproot our kids for a fresh start in a new state ?
It’s been a discussion we’ve been having for nearly a year now, we’ve lived in this same area since we were kids and are both completely unhappy here, a lot of traumatic memories here for both of us.
If we do this it will be a massive move and completely unlike anything we have ever done before.
I’m ready to leave at any minute due to Having nothing tying myself here as I have no friends in the area and I’ve been cut off from my family for many years, my partner on the other hand is a little hesitate as his mum and siblings live close by and they are a really close nit family.
We are both in therapy for different reasons, but both of our therapists have said that a move like this could be geographically therapeutic for all of us.
The area in the state we are looking at has endless job opportunities, wonderful schools and other fantastic educational opportunities as well, so it does feel a little too good to be true.
My only concern is if we make this move will one of us or both of us regret it ?
Has anyone made a massive move like this and found it to be exactly what they needed ?
Thank you
7 Replies
It can be a great thing but don't expect more of it than it is. I find that happens a bit, like people think if they just go somewhere else everything is going to be OK.
It doesn't fix systemic family or personal issues.
Will someone regret it? Maybe. But if we live our lives afraid of maybes we'd never do anything. Is it worth putting your stuff into storage for a year as a "back up" to give you some peace of mind in case you decide to move back?
Do it! You won't know until you try. I have moved interstate once (I'm still here 20 odd years later) and I've also moved towns 3 times. You all might get a bit homesick but give it at least a year. It's a great chance to start fresh, make new friends, set new routines, hobbies, sports. In the first 6 months make sure you jump into any activities that fancy you, take up any invitation that you get, invite your neighbours around for a coffee or a drink, encourage your kids to invite friends around. Really use the "new person" to your advantage as that first year is the best time to make friends.
We’ve moved quite a few times. It’s always been great.
It’s important to do it in a very planned way. Otherwise it can be a nightmare.
We’ve always had jobs to go to (or at least one of us did, with enough savings to back us up). It made the transition very easy.
Friends of mine moved without jobs to go to in area they thought they’d get jobs easily (there is no such area) everywhere is competitive. They found themselves stuck in an area with no jobs and living of JobStart and unable to move back without family support. It was 12 months of hell.
My advice, one of you needs to move first, live in cheap accomodation (house share etc) while they look for work, if you don’t work in the kind of industry that’s supportive of people moving for work.
Do it. But be realistic. The reasons you are in therapy will likely be still there. It’s wonderful but it’s also difficult. You have to e prepared to put in hard work to create a new home.
Theres only one way to try it and see. You probably will both find it great and hard in different ways in different times. Thats the hard thing about deciding whether to go if one of you wants to and one doesnt. How old are your kids and how well will they change?
I did it packer up rented house out moved to QLD never looked back. Stop thinking so much and just do it, else you’ll keep putting hurdles in your way and never do it. Just go
You only live once, do it! We did it, I absolutely loved it! I always said to hubby, if it doesn’t work out or we don’t like it, simple…. Just move back! After 5 years we moved back because he got home sick. We are glad we did it though, don’t regret a second of it.
And don’t worry about family, I reckon we saw more of our family as they came for holidays and it made time spent together more special.