I’m 38 and I have 2 children already who are 10 and 7. I am married but have a very rocky relationship at present. We were planning on separating and selling the house etc but decided to give it another shot. Things are still not great and to top it off I have just found out I’m pregnant. Still shocked as to how considering the last time I had sex with my husband it was 4 days until my period was due and I thought it was merely impossible to get pregnant at this time. I never considered a third and I really don’t know how I’m going to do this!
Has anyone been in a similar situation? I am so lost and confused on what to do
Unplanned pregnancy
Unplanned pregnancy
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage
8 Replies
Been there, done that. 15 years ago. Not saying which way I jumped and I can't tell you which way to jump. Whatever your choice, it needs to be made with the full understanding that you will be the one required to have the mental strength to cope with whichever decision you make. The dad thinks he's doing the heavy lifting, but in the end it all comes back to you. Best of luck during this difficult time xx
Maybe this is a gift sent to you both, to bring you back together. Just saying. It’s meant to be. If it was me, I would keep this baby and work it out together and move forward.
At 38 this is your last real chance of having a baby. Think very hard before you make any decisions. I would keep this baby if this was me, no matter the situation. On the plus side your other 2 are old enough to help and do a lot for themselves. A reminder also, your other 2 won’t need you as much soon, this baby will 💙💕 and you probably need this baby more than you realise. My kids are these ages now and I wish this happened to be at 38. You can do it. better now than later.
You decided to sell and give it another shot instead. It means you are both willing to try. I think this baby was meant to be. Stand together and fix your relationship. Together you can get through it.
I dont think a baby has ever made things easier or solved relationship troubles. Its stressful and requires you to both give to support each other and work together under stress and sleep deprivation, financial stress and big decisions.
If I was you I would plan for the separation going ahead, if you ended up separated would you want to be doing that with 3 kids (a pregnancy, maternity leave and the first five years) in your 40s.
How would trying to stay together for the baby and splitting in your mid 40s be? Its hard for a single woman, but restarting close to 50 is going to be that much harder.
My 3rd was very unplanned and unexpected.
It's all very nice for people to say this baby is meant to be, will bring you back together and fix everything - it's just a very romanticized, kind of naive way of looking at things. Reality often looks quite different to this fairytale ending.
I'm not saying you should or shouldn't go ahead with the pregnancy, that's entirely your choice. I just think you need to look at this from every angle (the good, bad and ugly) so you're prepared for all possible outcomes.
I wish you all the best x
Can't imagine how a baby would fix an already very rocky and not great relationship
All the best for you- I’m pregnant with number 3 too- kids are 11 and 7 and I’ll be 38 when bub comes! It’s scary stuff so I wish us both all the luck!!