Hi Mummas, my partner of 15 years told me last night he wants a permanent separation. We never married, even after 15 years, so no divorce involved. We do have 3 kids together. I told him if he was unhappy he can leave. He told me he's not leaving his own home and has told me I have to leave. The house is in his name also. I don't have it in me to fight him on this and I'm happy to leave the house and the horrible memories it now holds. I am still so numb and in shock and it's still so raw and new still.
I don't know what to do now. How do I get a rental with no income? I have been at home raising kids for the last 10 years. I have only just gone back to work doing night fill at a supermarket, but will hand to give that up as now I will have no one to watch the kids. I have no family nearby. And my siblings are busy with their own kids. I feel like my head is in a fog and I can't think or see straight. Can you beautiful mummas help me and make a list of what to do and how to do it, please.
Thank you for all your help, I desperately need it xx
Seperation
Seperation
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage
9 Replies
For a start I would be making him go. You have been together 15 years you are entitled to half of everything. He is the one that wants the separation so why up root the kids when everything is changing for them. I'd be trying to keep some normality for them. If he wont go, I'd seriously consider changing the locks, as it doesn't seem like he is going to be reasonable and think about his kids.
Is there someone you can get to watch the kids? Are they all at school? If so could you talk tonyour management and explain whats happening and see if they could offer you shifts through school hours?
You should also contact centerlink the sooner you do this the sooner you can start receiving some form of payment to help with things. Also you reach out to a lawyer, like I said earlier you have been together 15 years and are entitled to half of everything also you'll need to discuss custody arrangements.
This is just what I would do if I found myself in this situation.
Good luck mumma
Why don’t you speak to him and tell him you will be moving to where you family are. Maybe he has someone else. It’s easier for him to leave than you with the kids. He’s probably talking to someone else. I would move closer to family if I was you. Do what it best and easier for you.
You can get a caviet put on the house so be can’t do anything with it. Ring up and get legal advice. He will need to pay you out something.
You'll still be entitled to a property settlement so lawyer up, lady. You've been contributing to the household by staying home and raising the children so you'll be entitled to more than you (or he) realises. Most family lawyers will do a free consultation with you to figure out how they can help. I'd be betting on at least 50% of proceeds of house and a portion of his super. Don't let him convince you that you aren't entitled to anything.
I'd pack my bags and leave by myself. He doesn't want you but that doesn't absolve him from being a father.
That way you can work and take care of yourself and he can do all the parenting.
I have just gone through this. Well, am going through it.
He's moved into the kids room and the kids are in my room (it's huge and easily done). He pays child support, I work one day a week and get ftb a and b. If you're a citizen (which I'm not) you'll be able to get parenting payment or job seeker. With three kids and centrelink you'll be fine financially, you'll get the Max ftb possible, depending on how much child support you get. Lodge your centrelink applications and child support applications asap. See if you can find a way to keep your job, it's great to have that little bit of extra income. If you're separated in the same house there's no reason he can't look after his children while you work. All the best.
Everyone is saying dont leave the house, but what if OP wants to leave? It is really hard to prove separated under one roof to get centrelink and really really hard to live with someone who doesnt want to be with you anymore.
I got a rental and moved out with the kids when my husband of 20 years decided he wanted to separate. The house was only in his name so was easier just to leave it and the bills that come with it, with him so the kids can still have the familiarity of going to the home they had lived in most of their lives.
In saying that I was still entitled to a percentage of the house, our belongings and his super because I looked after the house and kids for so many years. As my lawyer said, he wouldnt have what he has without me.
I didnt make him sell the house or take his super, I just took what I and the kids needed and got it over and done with
nope. you stay with the kids he goes. kids come first now. He owes you half his super and half, maybe more of whatever equity is in the house. Do this for your kids.
Whatever you do...if safe to do so do not leave the home until you have received legal advice!!! Stay put as long as you can...good luck x