Hey Mummas! I'm at a crossroads, i feel like i know what i need to do but i just need some confirmation or rather.....outside opinions. My partner and i have been together on and off for 12 months, we've been living together for 3 months and every time i have my 3 year old son (every second weekend) we fight, he says i let him walk all over me and that i allow it and give him whatever he wants. I feel like i just want to provide a happy environment for my son and the small things don't really stress me out as much as they clearly do my partner. Im not sure if im being close minded and protective or if these are some red flags waving in front of my face. My partner pretty much ignores my son the whole time he's with us or just stays in our bedroom the whole time ignoring both of us. Its come to the point where i go and stay with friends or family during this time and cop the silent treatment from my partner for doing so. I guess my question is should i stay or go?
Also just to add we've had countless conversations about the issue and it always just ends in agreeing to disagree, until the next fortnight rolls around and it all starts again.
10 Replies
Totally unacceptable behaviour from him. Regardless of how your son behaves and you react or don't react, him pulling a disappearing act is not ok. He is living with someone with a child. He needs to get involved or ship out. You may also need to let him be involved. Good luck. He sounds sulky as.
I can't really see this relationship going the distance to be honest, there's a lot going on here that shouldn't be - so make of that what you will.
I think maybe this is a good opportunity to reflect on your parenting skills/style though. I'm not saying this is the case in your situation but I've dated guys who had their kids every second weekend like you do, what I experienced was no structure, no discipline, no rules and a lot of fun to over compensate.
It was honestly a nightmare and to tell you the truth, probably contributed to the relationship not working out.
Run like the wind. It’s a gigantic red flag waving in your face. If you do stay, it will destroy the relationship you have with your child as he grows up.
No way would I be tolerating that behaviour from a grown man. Put your son first! You should not feel bad for wanting to spend time in whatever way you want with your son. You’ve known your bf for 12 months, he does NOT get a say in this! Life’s too short for this jerk.
12 months is too short to be "on again off again" and since it has been on again off again it's also way too soon to be living with him for 3 months. Your son is only 3 and your partner already doesn't like him. Is this something you can live with forever? I couldn't. What if you had your child full time? Put your child first, put yourself second and put this loser in the bin.
Should I stay or should I go? That's on you. Don't ask people on here to choose for you. Only you know what you feel and need. Follow your head and heart .
Eek leave. Recurring event and you always fight, its not resolving/resolvable.
Problem with your parenting; he should mind it, but how on earth do you have the time to entertain someone with that attitude when you dont need them?!
Wanting you to be tougher on kids is ick. Always rings alarm bells for me. Surely noones harder than the parent, but they come with love. A stranger doesnt. All he has to do is be loving and supportive, youre seeing the real him is far from that.
Leave. He will never make it a warm and welcoming environment for your child.
Wow I wouldn’t accept this at all. Def a red flag. You need someone to be involved with your sons life if he plans on being part of it. Worst of all your son will pick up on this and grow up knowing he doesn’t want him around. I think you need think have a serious think about continuing this relationship. Just shows what sort of father he would be. How awful.
Get out and don’t look back. Your son comes first always.