So a bit of background my husband and I partnered with another company few years back and started a business, my husband use to do all the book work himself until it all took of and was to much on top of his everyday tasks so I took over I have niw been in this role for close to 9 months and believe I have been doing a good job.
Until someone approached me and asked why my job was being advertised on an employment site, I was blind sided hurt and angry (I know it is my job and not additional admin because there would not be enough work for 2) I asked my husband and he hasnt really said much just that it will be awkward if the partner has to speak to me if I make mistake (9 months in and I can't say I've made huge mistakes which require chastising about)
And regardless of who my husband is I work expect to be pulled up if I make a mistake. As far as im aware there is no valid reason for this, if I have made a mistake no one has told me everything was new to me so I've been learning as I go, and I feel I ask more than enough questions about things I'm unsure about.
Im going to try talk to my husband again because its really starting to effect me mentally, everyday I come out I'm starting to second guess myself and my ability and I'm starting to not want to come in like I'm not really welcome it makes me sad.
I just don't know what to do or say
Any advice would be appreciated
Edit: on a side note partners wife work with in the company as well. This is possibly a contributing factor as to why i feel its personal
14 Replies
Are you on a fixed term agreement? This happened with my government job, every 12 months our positions would come up for advertising but the person holding the position would rarely be moved from the job. It was a really big waste of everyone's time really but it is what it is. The other thing too is maybe they don't like the relationship, too close? They may want to give it to someone unknown to all of you.
No fixed term agreement, its not a government job it is small family run business. Im not sure I understand what you mean by they dont like the relationship?? Personally being the small family business we are wouldn't it be better having people who you know and trust who better to make sure you business doea well thwn someone who is Personally invested. Its juat a job to someone unknown no individual interest to make sure it is a success??
I am a small business owner too in retail and to be honest I hate hiring family or people I know, it just gets uncomfortable if you aren't happy with them work wise. I do all my own book work but my MIL has been a bookkeeper for years and is much better than me but no way would I get her to do mine. Sucks they haven't discussed it with you and surely your husband knows more than what he's saying, they may have just left it to him to tell you and he hasn't been able to yet.
Our partners wife works within the company as well..
I'm not just any family member though this is just as much my business as it is theirs. Ive sacrificed just as much I've given my all to make sure it is a success I've given money from my own savings to get it going. And I'm being treated with no regard or respect from any of them
If you've been learning as you go what's the chances that as a growing business they could be looking for official quals?
Just get in there, ask. Offer to do the courses required if that's what they're after. Assure the partner that you don't want it to be awkward, you want to know if you've made a mistake and want to be a part of correcting it.
The only real qualification needed is use of Microsoft and a background in the use of xero which I have. I am very much willing to do any courses needed and am happy to be taught anything else I need to know. Ie doing quotes knowing prices and what not.
I think my main issue is my husbands lack of support, it makes me feel as though I was just a means to end just a fill in until thwy find someone else. And I have worked hard a sacrificed a few things to be here to support our business and help it grow.
My husband said to me they want someone who can do it all, well I am willing and able plus everything I've already been taught will need to be taught to the new employee and then some..
Call me pety if you like if they replace me this way I won't be helping them show them the ropes
Call a meeting with both of them and get to the bottom of it.
The pair of them obviously aren't strong communicators so grab the bull by the balls so to speak.
I've seen sometimes where the missus of the boss is fucking useless and yet given important jobs making everyone else's life difficult and neither they nor their husbands will address the elephant in the room when it comes to the high staff turnover (certainly not saying this is you), make it clear you don't expect to be treated with kid gloves.
I've also seen where other employees can actually be the problem if rumours start of favouritism- and honestly it's going to be hard to discount it if that's what's happening.
Lastly, I know guys who "say" they want the missus to work but don't want to have to foot the increased workload at home that comes with keeping it all equal.
Whether it's any of these or something else you deserve to know the truth though.
We have a couple of different locations they are in one location while my husband and I are in another ours is a but smaller we have hubby myself and 3 others working for us to which I literally have nothing to do with the 3 employees, due to all our job descriptions keep us in in different areas. So my husband deals with thw fella's and I just stay in my office dealing with paperwork and sub contractors (with whom I'm curtious and polite to always even when im in a foul mood it immediately disappears when they come into the office.) I've never had any complaints from the subbies as far as I'm aware they all love me.
Im very aware being the wife of the boss not to make mistakes and if I'm given work that is beyond my experience I will definitely tell my husband he'll then if he has the time teach me. But any jobs that are to difficult for fall to my husband so I'm not really making any one else's lives difficult.
I certainly don't want to be treated any differently because im his wife, if make a mistake i need to know. So one i can fix it and 2 i can know what to do and what not to do for next time.
Even with my work load and home load it is no where near my husbands work load. I hire a gardner and do what cleaning i have on weekends my mil helps theough the week with small cleaning tasks while ahe minds the kids after school until I get home. So I dont think that would be ths issue.
Maybe your husband doesn’t like that you still Handball the difficult stuff to him?
Has training been from scratch?
Do you have finance/accounting experience?
Honestly, they’re not happy, ask your husband to tell you why.
I would just not show up tomorrow, see how they like no notice.
That's how I'm feeling, I pulled up in my car today and sat in the car for probably 20 minutes before being able to bring myself to go in
You sound really hurt but asking us is not the answer. A few people have given suggestions why and you just argue back. You need to, at the very least, discuss this with your husband and preferably with your business partners as well. Communication doesn’t seem to be a strong point amongst you all and it needs to be in order for you all to continue being a successful business no matter who is working there
My apologies if you see it as me arguing, its just so hard to give the full picture when writing the original post. When people help I'm just trying to offer all the information. I'm honestly not trying to seem argumentative. I do really appreciate everyone's opinions feedback and suggestions. I'm just trying to offer the full picture.
If I've done something wrong I am absolutely 100% in the dark because nothing has been said to me.
I run a family business. I have 15 staff or whom 3 are family - hubby , me, adult son. OMG communication is so much the game changer. The more invested you are with the person, the more difficult it is to have truly unemotional discussions. I have a contracted HR company attend meetings to keep us on the business.
In your case I would be highly offended as well. How dare the other 3 gang up on you like this.You may be inexperienced but you are vested in the business, investing time and money. Supporting hubby too.
I would immediately book a meeting for the 4 of you and state your case. Get some help putting your notes together from an objective person and even get an outside person to chair for you. Whether you are good or bad at your job, partners don't make strategic business decisions without talking through the pros and cons with the other partners.
It's obvious to me they don't see you as a partner. So disrespectful of them all, but particularly your husband. Sounds mightily entitled to me. Stand up straight and look them straight in the eye, You are not at fault here. Best of luck.