Hubby is abusive to me and our eldest. We have four kids altogether. Honestly it's a ticking time bomb. Iv put up with the verbal, mental, emotional and sometimes physical abuse for years but when it started happening to our son that's when I had to say something . I finally took a step out of my shell and told the school . They have called cps . How long does it take for them to act? What will they do when they get here? What will there next steps be?
15 Replies
I don’t know the process but want to say I’m proud of you x
Thank you x
Have you tried talking to 1800RESPECT they can help you make a plan too.
It’s hard to tell what will happen with CPS or how long it will take. They are a very busy agency and a lot will depend on how urgent they deem your case etc compared to other cases.
Yes I have called them. He of course knows nothing about what is going on and I want to keep it that way for now.
You are amazing!! Well done!
Approach Centrelink and they will have some information on financial assistance.
I am sitting here and still worried, I don't know when cps will turn up or if police will turn up. Iv never dealt with this before . Iv just got a ear full from a family member saying I should have tried counselling first (been there and done that) , they think I will lose the kids as well. The school did see marks on my child the other day that his dad did to him.
Well hopefully he goes to jail and that gives you the space to sort yourself out and never have him back in the same house as you again. Fingers crossed thats what happens. If not, call the police next time he is abusing your child. You dont actually need anyone else to nove him out, its all going to have to come from you. Only you can make that decision.
Can you take your kids and stay with those family members?
You should call them too. If you do nothing them they will ask why you aren't acting protectively. Call CPS and report the abuse and then seek help from your local women's shelter, or DV connect. Doing nothing and waiting will likely result in you being put under the spotlight for not being protective.
OP. I don't know if this is an option, but if it's not one you've thought of it's definitely well worth looking into.
I remember many years ago growing up in a DV household there was a point where for a few days all of us kids were placed in a kind of emergency care. I don't think it was a government one, maybe church run or a neighbourhood care type of thing? You wouldn't do it these days but is there someone you trust who can take the kids for a little while and give them a break? Someone who has the balls to stand up to him if he turns up at their house carrying on like a fuckwit? Who will call the cops if he continues?
Do you have the ability to reach out to family or old friends (a part of DV behaviour is to isolate you. People don't stop caring for you just because you fall out of touch) for a support network in addition to the workers who will take your case?
I know it seems a long way away but the key to building your strength is actually to take his away. Stop being embarrassed by what's happening behind closed doors. His strength isn't physical, it's controlled by you not wanting others to know. Once that is gone you won't believe how strong you can be.
OP, if you really want things to happen quickly and you want your husband forcibly removed (which I guess is what you're hoping for) you are actually better off reporting to police and getting hospital treatment. When CPS come they will have nothing to go by, your word and the schools word and that's it. They won't have anything concrete and your husband won't be charged or anything, probably offered anger management and parenting courses. I hate to say this because there really shouldn't be an opportunity for it, but next time he does this take your child to the police and they will send you to hospital. Then it will be instant, he will be removed from your home with an interim AVO or police will find alternative accommodation for you.
You did the right thing. I wish there were more cases like yours . Well done.
Do you live in NSW? If you go and talk to police about the DV in your home they will automatically do a referal for WDVCAS which is women's domestic violence court advocacy service. They have heaps of support and services they can link you to to help you leave and stay safe.
Sorry to say but children witnessing abuse is just as bad as being abused. Witnessing domestic violence is also counted as child abuse. If you don't choose to leave the child protective services will remove your kids from both of you.
You need need leave if you want to keep your kids.
Contact 1800 respect.
Use your family and friends to help you leave. Even if you have been isolated from them because of the abuse they will most likely help you when you decide to leave.
I can tell you now it won't be easy to leave or to stay away but you need to stand your ground and stay away for your kids.
Not sure where you live but SA have women's legal services who can help you get a intervention order in place.
The school would have made a child abuse report but the cops will need to talk to you to make it go any further. So be prepared to make a report. You need to report it to police who will also help you get in touch with services that can help you leave or make him leave.
https://www.1800respect.org.au/
This link should help you get support you need.
Good luck.