Hi all,
I have been wanting to change my given name since I was a small child. I have never connected with it and sometimes don't answer someone when they say it... not on purpose, it just doesn't connect with me.
My given name is my mothers name. She resented me from birth and we have no relationship now.
It was my father who named me.
I have no middle name to use. I have another nickname that I was also given at birth, and this is what my family use. It is a cute nickname, but it can't really be used as a given name.
My dilemma is whilst I don't connect with my current name, I also don't know what to change it to. It is an odd feeling naming yourself, especially as an adult and a teacher!
Has anyone else been through this? How did you decide on your name? Thanks in advance!
6 Replies
I've never really loved my name either.
My name was quite generic growing up in the 90s, there was always at least 5 other kids with the same name yet people would still constantly forget my name (or about me in general). It made me feel really insignificant.
That's probably more because I was a shy and quiet kid but I still feel like "ugh" when I hear my name being called.
If it helps, I always liked the name Luka/Luca. It's gender neutral so a little bit mysterious and it's uncommon without being outrageous.
Good luck discovering this piece of your identity.
I hate my name too. Its old fashioned and ugly. Others love it because it's a soft French name but I cringe every time I hear it being used. I've hated it for as long as I can remember. My middle name is even worse.
I hope you find something that you love.
Is there an anglicized version you could switch to?
When filling out the paper work they do ask a couple of questions, along the lines of why you want to change your name (which you have already answered) as well as how long you have been using the new name and how you have been using it.. When I say how.... you might be registered with the local swimming club as the new name ect.
The process can become lengthy if you don’t tick all the boxes so to speak. Try downloading a form to see what their expectations are..
No but ive changed my surname so understand that overwhelm of what to choose and will you connect with it.
Id say choose something with some connection to you, go through long term best friends/distant friends middle names, inspirational historical people, artists, poets, scientists, family history of names, also did you create an alias when younger, or hold favourite baby names you didnt use.
Or flower, season, month of your favourite special person.
Also go through nature, animals, colours, gemstones, flowers and see if any resonate with you.
I ended up using a name that fit my ideal of being short, simple to spell and say, well known, but also had a connection to me in 2 different ways and its me now.
My heart goes out to you. It's terrible that your mother had so little regard for you that your dad had to name you.
Really sad and I'm sorry that has had some years to fester.
The good news is, she's not there to keep the toxicity going.
Are there any names you're particularly drawn to that hold some meaning?
I've always loved "traditional" names. If you want to draw on a familiar name, look at your aunts (favorite ones) or grand parents.
Go back into your family history... see if anything sings to you and already you've got some claim to it by meaning your family.
My great great great grandfather's son, Llewellyn, passed away from Diphtheria when he was 16 months old and was buried on the family property. This was in the 1800s. My father and uncle were looking into the family burial site and my dad thinks Llewellyn buried without his parents (they were buried in town, the property belongs to a farmer and it's complicated about which immediate family has control over Llewellyn's remains) but my dad felt if possible he would like his ashes sprinkled nearby so Llewellyn has a nephew from a different generation to recognize how important he was (and still is) to his family.
Llewellyn was actually on my baby list of names along with William. Both family names.
I hope you find something that speaks to you. X