I’m not sure what I’m asking but maybe just some validation or put me in the right direction please.
My partner and I both had a daughter each and I’m pregnant with our second child together. We’ve moved so he can be home every night with goals and prospects for our future. To save some money , less drinking in our lives and give our kids the best life we can. I just feel like life isn’t easier for me when it should be now his home very night. He drank excessively for the first month after we moved like every night until the early hours. So i spoke to him and it eased off but he is so cranky all the time, we do have a lot going on with the kids transitioning to the move and high emotions but he sneaks off every chance he can to drink on days off. He doesn’t help with the night time routine or school mornings and absolutely loses his shit if I voice my opinion, I feel alone, I’m doing everything on my own and I’m losing a connection and respect for him. I’m studying and had two assessments due and he just went and got drunk and left me with all the kids no help at all. I don’t want this lifestyle. I’m not against having a drink but I feel like when I have this baby I don’t want to be drinking like that and we have nothing else between us. He doesn’t make suggestions to do any activities that doesn’t surround alcohol and it’s like I should be happy to sit at home and do everything by myself. I miss my friends I feel like I’ve made all these changes and for nothing. How can I fix this? I don’t want another split family.
How can I fix this
How can I fix this
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage
3 Replies
You can't fix this.
You can't fix him.
You can't make him choose you, or your kids.
What you can work on fixing is your picker.
You don't want another split family? Pick better men, not fixer uppers.
Don't go having babies until you're far enough into the relationship to know they're the real deal.
It's so glaringly obvious, I envision you slapping yourself up the forehead and exclaiming "of course" because it really is that simple.
So hes not nice to live with. He makes liglfe hard and unhappy. Dont ignore that. You cant fix it, change him, just exhaust and break yourself if you put up with it.
You have to know by now that you cant make the kids and then demand a solid family. It doesnt work that way, you have to find the right person first. Because if hes not right, nothing will change that.
Change the goal from a 'broken home' to a happy home and amazing you. If his presence takes away from that, hes got to go.
You can’t fix it. Only he can fix himself. You don’t want a split family so would rather stay in this hell for the sake of a label?? Read this back to yourself and what advice would you give, imagine if your daughter wrote this, what would you suggest! I think you know the answer. Life is short, don’t waste is being miserable.