I don't know how to explain this or what I am asking but here goes.
I am a mum of two boys under two, I have basically spent the last three years pregnant and with babies. And I hate pregnancy I don't fair very well through it, and have had pre-eclampsia with both. My while life I was desperate to have children and convinced my partner it was time to start a family after been together for just 1yr. I live my boys to bits and didn't have to bad a time with my first, he was pretty good and things were going well for us financially and I was planning our wedding. We decided to have our next straight after the wedding and then my husband lost his job and we have moved interstate in the last year twice trying to find work and then back to be closer to family but we are still struggling financially and have spent a huge amount of our savings. While I was pregnant with the second I got very depressed from our situation and from being so isolated in a new state not knowing anyone then we moved back closer and it is better now we have a few friends and family around but I still am not coping. I am so exhausted and feel like I just want to run away from my husband and children. I can't cope day to day with my children, some days are good I get distracted with activities but others I just want to sleep all day but can't and also get woken several times a night from the baby. I love them to bits and I spose my question is how can I feel better and does it get easier once they are no longer toddlers. There's a lot more to the story but have already made a long msg.
3 Replies
You are describing depression. Make a long appointment with your GP and tell them how you feel and about the sleeping. They may suggest medication and or counseling (if your not doing those things already). You can start to feel better but it takes time. For me I had to try 3 plus different medications and went to two counseling sessions a week for 3 months and then dropped down to one a week. It was a hard slog but once I gained some traction things felt so much better. Also it might be a good idea to pop the kids in daycare for a day or two a week or ask family to help out with them so you can have some breathing space.
I found one child exhausting up until two, so two must be really hard. It does sound like depression, i agree with above comment. I also found with my situation i had a lot more going on but i didnt give that the importance it deserved, just blamed everything on baby & being tired when the truth was i was weighed down by all the. 'Stuff' & once i sorted that then having a child became so much more enjoyable. It sounds like you need to sort out a routine where yiu get a regular decent sleep, get a break from kids, where you do things that you enjoy & make you happy & where you can relax.
It does get easier when they are older, or a different sort of hard... Please speak to someone about how you feel, it sounds like you are overwhelmed and exhausted. It is hard being pregnant and having to look after toddler, your body and mind are so tired...Ask for support, you are not alone..