Hi sisterhood,
My husband of almost 10 years left me over a year ago because he wasn't happy. We have one child together and I have a child from a previous relationship. I was devastated initially but the longer I was away from him I realised that his behaviour was toxic and that love shouldn't come with physical and mental abuse. As soon as I started seeing someone else he decided he wanted me back and has continued to try and emotionally manipulate, gaslight and bully me. He threatened to kill me at the start of last year which resulted in an intervention order then showed up to my house late last year and assaulted me and abused my partner, this breach resulted in DHS getting involved and he is still on supervised visits with our daughter.
My eldest daughter disclosed to me "grooming" type behaviour from my husband after he left me which I reported to DHS, they investigated but because she didn't want to talk to them they closes the case. The "grooming" usually happened while I was at work and was comments like "you should go to the Catholic school because the uniform is cuter" and one time she asked for a lolly or something and he said "only if you take your undies off" which she didn't do and apparently nothing more happened. She will not talk any further about this with me but is in counselling after a long wait on a waiting list.
My ex has just started seeing another woman which I was actually relieved about because it seems to have slowed down his interest in harassing us however she has 2 young daughters so I am feeling torn with what to do.. If I say anything to her about his grooming behaviour with my daughter I will look probably look vindictive but the thought of him around young girls keeps playing on my mind... I'm at a loss as to what I should do..
Abusive ex husband grooming behaviour *TRIGGER WARNING*
Abusive ex husband grooming behaviour *TRIGGER WARNING*
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage
6 Replies
You need to let her know somehow , if she chooses to believe you then thats up to her ! But at least try, even somehow tell her family
That's what I was thinking, I do feel like I need to somehow let her know because otherwise in 10 years hee daughters could be damaged and she could be in the same position I am in now..
Go on crime stoppers and report it anonymously. Find out who her ex is and try speak to him but tip off crime stoppers.
Because you could be putting yourself at risk by directly speaking against him maybe go the police station ask to speak to someone take all paperwork from DHS with you and get some advice from them. Also ask for a record of the conversation.
I'm going to say no, if the woman seems like the stand by my man type. I told and they protected the abuser
Please tell her. I would absolutely want to know if I was her. Even if she doesn’t believe you she will be hyper vigilant for ANY red flag behaviour and it will help her trust her gut if anything feels off.
I spent 3 years with a man who was most definitely grooming my son and I feel so sick about it now. After we separated so many people came out and told me things they had seen and heard that made them uncomfortable and had I known I would’ve run at the first thing that seemed a little odd.