Hello amazing community.. I would love your advice please..
I have a 10 year old son who used to spend weekends with his Dad.. well up until a year or so ago when his Father stopped having him on the weekends and instead chose a life of drugs, alcohol and violence over being a Dad. Very little contact was made by him since this time apart from the odd drunken phone call or abusive come down rant.
18 months and a short jail stint later.. his father has now decided he wants to be a Dad again and has attempted to make contact to see his son (without any remorse or apology for the disruption his absence has caused to our lives) I understand that he is his father and does have rights to his child.. The thing is, it infuriates me that he thinks he can walk away, ignore his parental responsibilities and let his son down.. then just walk back on in again when it suits him.
We have no court orders. So far I have ignored his calls. I don’t really know where to go from here.. can he really just walk back on in again now that it suits him?
Thank you X
4 Replies
Get legal advice! Then depending on what the advice is, you could suggest short visits at a contact centre at his expense. This way you don’t have to have contact with him and you will know that your son is safe. If he refuses to pay for the contact centre then don’t allow contact. Let him organise mediation, then court if you’re unable to come to an agreement. If he really wants to be part of your son’s life, he will be willing to jump through any hoops you throw his way. It’s not fair on your son to have his father dropping in and out of his life on a whim.
No. He cant. He doesnt have rights to your child, your son has rights to be protected.
He can go to court and take blood tests to show hes clean and have supervised visits and agreed on contact. He doesn't get to waltz in and make any old contact he feels like. Kids deserve and need basic standards of sobriety and stability to be met. You do not have to allow anything until he does that, and if he doesnt, thats the answer and the reason you do it in the first place.
When he is ready to see his son, he’ll contact a mediation centre and organise mediation. Then you can negotiate supervised visits, drug tests etc.
Even if you answer the phone, and talk to him, or message him, I’d tell him you are happy to discuss at mediation, but won’t discuss before that.
If his phone calls are threatening then report it to police and get an avo. If they aren’t and he is just attempting to see his son then tell him to go to family law court and not to contact you again. You have every right to with hold him from seeing his dad based on what you have said.