Hey can you please post anonymously. I need advice.
My daughter came home from our at home carer today and whilst asking her how her day was she disclosed that another girl there had asked her to play "rude ". I asked her what that ment and she stated the girl had taken her to a place where the carer couldn't see and had told my daughter to pull her pants down and show her her genitals. The girl told her if she didn't do this she wouldn't play with her. The girl touched my daughter and then told her that she wanted to pretend to take photos of her. She then kissed my daughter and put her tongue in my daughters mouth. My daughter told the girl she didn't like it and that she was going inside. I have told my daughter that I am proud of her for telling me and reinforced boundaries around our private areas. I have talked to the carer who is seeking advice from her visiting teacher and is also going to reinforce boundaries. I am so angry this has happened. My daughter is 4 and should be safe at her carers. What do I do ? I'm not sure I want he going back there with that girl there. Any advice, opinions or anything appreciated. We love our carer she's like family this girl started about two months ago and is five .
9 Replies
I would be more worried about the other girl tbh, this is what abused kids do 😣. My cousin did it to me too and it turned out her Dad had been abusing her. You need to tell the carer and insist she reports (she has to but make sure she does), you should also report and you have every right to not send your daughter again. If its just respite and you don't care what days go for days that the other girl is not there.
Agree insist its reported for the other childs sake.
Please what ever you do report this. That 5yr old child is being sexually abused 😢.
This is different to just kids exploring, the things that stand out is that she was very dominant, she threatens your daughter if she doesn't do it, she pretends to take photos, she knew to put her tongue in when kissing. All of that goes beyond kids just being curious and sends alarm bells ringing, please report this!
As a former early childhood educator, I am deeply concerned for that other little girl. The behavior she exhibited goes well beyond developmentally typical curiosity. That carer is a mandated reporter, I really hope by "getting advice" from her visiting teacher she means this will be reported to the relevant agencies. If you're not convinced this has been reported, please do so yourself.
As a parent, I'd be inclined to remove my child from this particular service, even if the carer felt like family. Safety is paramount, always!
From my professional perspective, it raises some alarm bells to me that there are blind spots where kids can slip away to and secondly that they are outside unsupervised.
From a parental perspective, I also wouldn't want my child continuing at a care service where there's a potential they'll be victimised again.
Yes, also keep in mind whoever has access to that child could be picking them up and having access to the other children there, your daughter included. Do what you want to protect your own child but you have to report this to protect all of them.
They need to have the other girl removed and maybe the carer report this incident to child services.
Take your daughter and report it to child services. This other girl may be being abused. It needs to be reported and I wouldn’t have her around this child again. I’d remove her if the kid isn’t.
The carer needs to report this so somebody can check on the little girl, as others have said this is all signs of abuse and somebody needs to help her.
I'm very sorry for what happened to your daughter, very brave of her to stand up for herself