Tw - depression / suicide
How to be a good happy mum
I have two small children, work part time, married. I'm constantly exhausted, cranky, I feel like I'm not 100% in any areas of my life.
I'm 20kgs heavier than usual, look 10 years older (have had people in general conversation mention my age and they think I'm way older) .
I don't know who I am, I'm a shell of a person I don't recognise. I feel like when I get on track somthing happens like the kids get sick, or money/job worries. I look in the mirror and hate what and who I see. My kids are also both terrible sleepers and very clingy. Sometimes I catch myself thinking the only way I'm ever going to feel any peace and rest is death. How do I get to a good place, I see mums getting to the gym, cooking with their kids, staying calm and collected during kids meltdowns. I want to be healthy and happy for my family. I am on antidepressants and I have been since before having kids. People talk about self care but I'm not actually sure what that is. I know my hubby feels the same about himself.
Please give me some tips and tricks or what's works for you, things that help you be the best version of you! 🤞💔
3 Replies
The thing is, when you have it together enough, things are easier, and things just get better, it cycles up.
Dont compare. If you cant get a full nights sleep of course you cant get to a gym and its the last thing you feel like.
Yiu have 2 small children. Honestly, it wont be forever. It will be a few years at most. When they sleep, things improve x100. When they can chill out and entertain themselves youre laughing. You can start doing things for yourself again.
At this point, its either deciding you want to lose the weight and prioritising that. Or deciding sleep and self care is more important to you right now, and giving yourself a break on your appearance, youre working hard and youre not as healthy as you wish but you are doing your best and the time for that will come.
To me, i think self care has to come first for you. Youre screaming out for it. Rest, sleep, timeouts where you do things for you. Maybe that is a walk or bike ride. Maybe a facial or a movie.
Also how are you on antidepressants but have no idea about self care. Get to a psychologist to walk you through this. They help immensely and what they do actually helps so you can eventually use those strategies without the meds. Meds alone won't be a long term fix, as youre seeing already, writing in about this. A psych will help you with this and it wont take too many visits to give you some really important advice.
Only you are capable of change. It sound to me like you need a review of your medication and treatment plan. That’s first. Second, none of that is going to mean anything if you don’t start taking care of yourself. Eating well. Getting sleep. Doing things that make you feel good. It could be as simple as putting on a bit of make up each day. That could be a start. Start small and build from there.
Also, do not compare yourself to others. Those mums who seem to have it all together could be battling their own demons. We all go through stuff. Comparing does you no good.