Last year I came out of a very long relationship full of emotional and psychological abuse. I have felt like I have been a shell of myself for a long time.
I feel like I no longer know how to talk to people or act in many social situations. I try really hard to have conversations but I get to a point where I don’t know what to say and I go quiet making it very awkward for everyone. I then spend a lot of nights stressing how I have embarrassed myself and how the other person/people must think what a strange person I am. This makes up a lot of my time and I’m really wanting to change it.
How on earth do I find myself again? I want to learn to love myself and find the confidence, self esteem, the sense of humor and the energy I had once upon a time.
My children deserve to have a happy mum and I know I deserve happiness too.
Please help.
2 Replies
My ex hated me having friends and he couldn't have a conversation with me without putting me down or trying to start an argument, no family to talk to so when it finally ended I had zero social skills too. I was just really awkward and nervous, laughed too much or just say something that I would think was wrong later and stress that I offended them. I got a customer service job and i think thats what helped me, all day of small talk, "Hello, how are you today? Hot out there isn't it?" x 50. Like re learning how to have a conversation. If you don't already have a job give something like this a go, it will give you the confidence you need to get your life back.
Have been here! I think even years later its tough! My advise is find someone who has been through something similar, start building up a couple of close friendships and go from there. Also be honest, when you feel like you have "embarrassed" yourself in a social situation, just own it and be honest, you might find others feel just as insecure as you do, or chances are they don't even notice. But generally I think being open about your struggles can defuse alot of situations, and also those moments of honesty help you figure out if how you are feeling is genuine or just your ex still lingering in your head.
We are all a little weird, we all have quirks and we all have struggles.
Remember YOU are your worst critic, what you think about yourself if likely far worse than what anyone else thinks.