I've heard so many stories of what goes on at these parties and I was very dubious about letting my daughter have one. She's quite reserved and considers going out to dinner with friends a better option than having a party, but this time she wanted to have a party; inviting 17 guests (13 girls / 3 boys).
Now some of the girls at school are telling others and telling my daughter that they will be bringing a "plus one". There are 3 boys invited and one has said he'll bring a slab. I requested my daughter send out a second message to those invited stating that there will be no "plus one" or any of those with alcohol, intoxicated by alcohol or drugs will not allowed in the house.
My request of the group, I suppose, is this:
What do I do on the night to ensure my daughter enjoys the night and not have to worry whether people she doesn't like or want turn up (I've got a couple of door bitches on duty for the night).
What's the best way to handle those who may turn up with alcohol or possibly intoxicated or high
My husband is going to secure the back yard to make sure unwanteds can't come in the back way
Also, for those who have held or been to successful 16ths, what worked and what didn't - daughter wants pizzas and grazing table (two extremes, I know), fire pit, backdrop for photos, music and helium balloons
10 Replies
Gosh things have changed! Never occurred to me to take a plus one to a 16th. Your daughter sounds like a nice teenager, her friends sound entitled.
Make it clear to your daughter what the rules are around plus ones, and alcohol. If you know the parents of these kids, let them know there is a party but there will be know plus ones or alcohol and it will be supervised.
I’d make sure that any extras are turned away straight away. If they refuse to leave on there own call the cops.
Some kids talk a big game though, so be prepared for the worst, but don’t be surprised if nothing actually happens.
Register the party with the cops. A friend did this. They gave her tips for security & a successful party. They'll be able to guide you on dealing with these problems. If you're really concerned hire security.
Most kids talk a lot but don't follow through. Make sure they know any illegal activity will get them thrown out & parents called & uninvited guests turned away.
She's asking a lot imo. A sheet will do for backdrops, you can order platters etc from supermarkets or delis & pizza $5 en masse from a delivery place. Keep it simple.
Oh, and please warn your neighbours.
Look, she won't enjoy her night if it's the boring party with a strict mum who won't allow alcohol.
Most parties these days have alcohol by 15.. maybe you could get them to bring a note from parents?
Otherwise, have the dinner party. She will be teased and hung shit on for ages if she can't have a cool party.
Wtf?? I hope you aren’t a parent.
Why? Because I’m a “cool” mum 😂 okay karen
Not necessarily true. At 16 my parties had alcohol, at my siblings friends they had no interest in drinking
Not necessarily true. At 16 my parties had alcohol, at my siblings friends they had no interest in drinking
16 year olds are going to drink whether you like it or not. They will drink before they get there and smuggle it in, that unassuming 2 litre fanta they are all going to drink from probably has 25% vodka in it 🤣 Been there, done it. I would beat them to it, say alcohol supplied and make a weak punch, have light beer and vodka seltzers on offer. They won't be impressed but its a win/win. They get to drink but you get to control it. If you try and say no alcohol they will probably move on to another party where they can drink or worse sit in a park somewhere, been there done it too. I would also tell them since alcohol is going to be there you are strictly keeping it at the invited people only as you can't have a house full of drunk teens.
With this attitude you might as well not even have the party.
Your daughter is going to be the laughing stock and get picked on relentlessly if you are being this controlling for her party.
Sure kick the non invited people out, no invite no entry. If they have come with another mate thats been invited I wouldnt turn them away.
But be prepared for your child to suffer. The type of party she had asked for is not the type of party you are willing to allow her to have, so don’t have it. Im not saying they have to get slaughtered to have fun but you really are planning on killing her “party” by being so over involved.
Parties have people there who aren’t always buddy buddy but the party should be fun.
Music, Dancing, food, fire pits all sound great. But by stopping the plus ones and having too much of an adult presence people are going to leave really early and go to the rager they can “party” at. Your daughter will be disappointed and heart broken too. You really need to “go with the flow” a little. The best parties are the ones that are not planned down to the next song.
I get what you're saying but I think the OP is worried about getting swarmed by gate crashers hence the door bitches and secure yard. It happens with high school kids, they go looking for a party and if word has got out th a t she is having a party they could easily end up with hundreds of gate crashers. Happens every weekend!