So my husband and I have an amazing sex life. We have sex everyday and have done so since we met. So there is no issue with lack of intimacy and we tend to spice it up with lingerie etc. However, I know that when I am not home he will watch porn and please himself. I know this as he has told me in the past that if he is bored and I am not here its just something he might do. He certainly does not replace porn with me and once in a while I might initiate we watch it together which he isn't always keen on as he worries I might turn around and get upset - but this doesn't happen.
I know its silly but I can't help but get jealous that he might be watching other beautiful girls with amazing bodies and comparing me. After all, my body is no wear near as amazing after having kids. I am all for masturbation as I think it is a totally normal & healthy release.
I guess my question is, do you let your other half watch porn when you arent home and if so do you get jealous about it ?
12 Replies
Yes my hubby watches porn. I don't get jealous over it. It's not like they're people he knows or anything.
You'd be surprised.
It's just porn, those bodies aren't the one that carried his children and and they're not the one he's physically intimate with. He's not comparing.
He's not examining their bodies, looking for cellulite or stretch marks. He's got a much narrower focus than that!
There's not 'letting' anyone watch porn when you're not around. They'll do it anyway if they want!
My partner always watches porn. He has replaced it with the real deal. He hasn't touched me in years. At first I was jealous. Also got extremely angry. But now, meh. Whatever.
You husband really seems to be totally into you. Sounds likes you'd be his first choice easily, over the porn. I don't think you have reason to be jealous. But it's very easy to feel that way.
Do I LET my partner watch porn when I'm not around?
My partner's a grown man, I neither want to nor do I have the right to dictate what he does in his spare time.
If he wants to watch porn (which I'm 99% sure he doesn't), I'm not going to agree with that choice but if it doesn't affect our relationship in any way, I'll respect his right to consume whatever legal content he wishes.
I've had exes that were really into porn though, I can't say jealously was the emotion that invoked. Disgust would be more apt, mostly because in my opinion the sex industry is very exploitative and demeaning.
I take issue with the word "let". I don't control my partner and what media he consumes, he cums when he wants (obviously within reason, like when it's appropriate to) and watches what he wants. However, your partner is with you, he loves you and he has intimate relations with you. What he watches is in no way a reflection of how he feels about you. I think maybe you two should have a chat about how porn makes you insecure and maybe have him not tell you when he's been masturbating. Also maybe counselling would help you work through your feelings.
I wouldn't really care. I don't even know if my partner watches Port, kinda his business if he does or not. So long as it's random people that we do not no...
I know when I watch porn, I don't really compare the man's body to my partners or think he is hot or anything... its more about the sexualising visuals?
Porn is not real, it's fantasy. Sometimes the more a man masterbates the longer he will last in sex AND the more of a sex drive he will have, same goes for women.
I can guarantee you that he is not comparing you or your body to women in the videos. If anything he may be getting ideas of things he would like to try with you.
Grow your confidence and self esteem so that you aren't comparing yourself to other women and think that you are enough just the way you are.
My partner doesn't have the time to be able to watch porn but if he did I'd be totally fine with it because I do.
I'm like your husband where if I'm bored or have a spare 5 minutes I'll go at it, kind if like a stress relief. But in saying that we don't have sex everyday
It's wonderful you two are so connected like that still!
My partner knows I watch porn and ok with it. And honestly when I'm watching I'm not really looking at the people but the act itself.
Yes I'm happy with hubby to watch porn, but if its not something you are comfortable with, you have every right to voice your concerns. I find boundries help me, he knows exactly what I'm comfortable with and what I view as crossing a line. I think a husband with a healthy outlook on it realises that we all look different and that love isn't just skin deep. Sounds like your husband is definitely one of those people 😊
I have the opposite problem, I'm the one in the marriage who watches porn and masturbates regularly
my husband gets very jealous. And it has caused numerous fights, I now just don't tell him unless he asks as it is totally normal and has helped me overcome alot of issues with my sexual abuse I received from previous partners
With my ex it was a huge problem. He masturbated so frequently that it became a problem for him physically, he basically trained himself to cum instantly. He would pass down sex because he'd masturbated 4x that day. He would "go to the toilet" at work and masturbate, to the point they started timing his toilet breaks and warning him to stop taking so many. He would walk away mid-argument and lock himself in the bathroom to masturbate. He wouldn't connect emotionally during sex because "sex is just about cumming, that's the whole point".
With my new partner, he masturbates occasionally. He watches porn and I don't care. We have a healthy sex life, so I have no reason to care haha