Let’s talk anal.
I HATE IT. It actually makes me feel sick thinking about it. Each to their own I know there are women out they’re that love it- good for you!! But personally it’s not for me.
The problem is my husband really wants it amd keeps pushing for it. I would be really horny during sex and really enjoying things and then he will just keep trying and I sometimes have to say no that many times that I completely lose my mojo and don’t even want to continue. I feel like he is a caveman and just wants to take what is his. Am I a nutcase for being so upset about this?
We have tried in the past and it’s just something I’m not interested in.
Anal sex
Anal sex
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage
23 Replies
I only do it if I'm super super horny. My husband and I would do it all the time for a few months, then not at all for many years, before doing it again for a few months, then stopping again for a few years etc ..
No means no though. If you don't like it, you are not obligated to do it. He should not be pressuring you. Tell him to go buy himself an anal fuck toy from the sex shop and to leave your bits out of it
You are NOT a nutcase. Your husband has some consent issues going on. Hopefully this video helps you understand the u healthy dynamic going on in your relationship. Don’t downplay the serious nature of his behaviour. I personally would be insisting on counselling (bare minimum) and if he won’t go I’d be out of there.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=pZwvrxVavnQ
Nope. You need to sit him down and tell him this is a definite no and him pushing your boundaries is a turn off and trust me lack of respect and repeated bad behaviour will turn it off fast, and once its off, its really hard to turn back on for that person again.
Your husband is gross. Not because he wants anal (i love it personally) but because he is ignoring you denial of consent. He is on the verge of rape and that is gross. He needs to pull his head in and stop.
Each to their own but I actually enjoyed it with my ex, you need lube lot's of it or else you'll go in raw and it will cripple you and it can and will give you an upset stomach.. That wasn't always the best part of it.
Make sure you've been to the toilet, yes it will still smell have wipes handy but if you don't want to do it then make it clear to your husband.
Anal isn't for everyone.
Say it once and clearly. Not during sex.
I do not want anal sex. Starting today if you ask for it or try it during sex we will immediately stop what we are doing and you will be asked to leave the room.
If it happens twice you will be asked to leave the house and not return.
I don't think you understand the gravity of the situation, your actions are bordering spousal rape.
I don't like it either. I've had it several times with a few different men. It's never felt good, it just feels weird. I've used lots of lube etc. Some just don't like it and that's ok.
I've found it doesn't come down to lube. If my bowel isn't empty it's just uncomfortable. Therefore as much as we both enjoy a bit of back-door action, if I haven't been to the loo it's not happening.
I always made sure I was empty beforehand.
I’ve tried and I hate it too. Doesn’t feel comfortable no matter what. You need to tell him clearly No beforehand. Consent is everything.
I would be very upset and feel disrespected by my partner if he kept trying to do it after I had said no.
I'd talk to him at another time (not in the moment) and say how much you hate it and that you won't allow him to keep trying it on you any longer.
He needs to respect your decision and also needs to understand the more he pushes the more you don't even want to toy with the idea and it switches EVERYTHING off.
Speaking of toys though have you tired any smaller toys or beads?
Before meeting my partner I hated anal, for some reason I really enjoy it now (which is strange because he's the biggest I've ever had haha) we don't do it often and it's usually if I'm tipsy and or extremely horny. I also feel there's more "preperation" so it's not uncomfortable, definitely not one of the let's have a quickie kind of moments
My partner and I have a bdsm dynamic, where I am the submissive. A huge part of our kink is for me to "do as I'm told". We do anal almost as regularly as vaginal sex and both really enjoy it.
Even in our relationship, if I say no or that I'm not up to it (with any sexual act) he won't pursue it. It's basic respect and it's how I know I can trust him to allow myself to submit. If he can respect my boundaries varying when our sex life basic revolves around him pushing my boundaries and him making me submit to his will, I'm pretty sure your husband can control himself with your hard boundaries.
Wow what a selfish pig he is! You have every right to say No with out feeling any guilt. He needs to wake him to himself and have some respect for you and stop thinking about himself.
Not for me either and my husband would never try it knowing how I feel about it.
Ask if you can strap on a dildo and shove it up his ass.. Make sure it is a huge black one!!
You’re not a nutcase. I’m exactly the same as you. The thought of it repulses me. You SHIT out of that hole! Why do you want to poke something up there???? I always say it’s an out hole not an in hole 🤣 my husband would like me to do it but I say no and he leaves it at that.
Ask you husband if you can poke something up his butt and see how he likes it!?
I’m not having a jab at people who do like it, each to their own. But if you’ve said no, and he keeps pushing like he does, that so wrong on so many levels.
I used to feel exactly the same about it, found it uncomfortable etc but after a couple of times I actually really enjoyed it, it wasn't as uncomfortable anymore. Sounds gross but it was like once it happened the first couple of times everything relaxes, it doesn't hurt and is enjoyable. It does take a bit to get used to much like vaginal sex can at times. However if you say no then that should be it.
I think you need to sit down and have a serious conversation. Let him know it hurts you when he pressures you and when you say no that is it. Tell him you do not want to do it full stop.
If I say no to my husband that is it. You should not feel pressured into anything.
If he continues to pressure you there is a much bigger issue in the marriage in my opinion.
Tell him to stick something up his arse first and see if he likes it. It repulses me as well.
This is absolutely not ok. You have said no to him on many occasions. This is on the border of sexual assault and you need to let him know that. He clearly has no respect for you or your wishes. Maybe sit him down at an appropriate time and discuss the issue. How it makes you feel, and what will happen if he doesn't start respecting your wishes.
Make a deal with him...
Tell him to receive anal first...then you will 😉
I could tell you what I do to make it more enjoyable for me but that's not the point here.
No is no and it's your comfort levels.
Before we tried it I used to tell mine if he wants to shove it up mine then I'll shove one up his and I can guarantee mine would be bigger. He didn't like that idea too much.