Hi ladies, I am looking for some much needed advice. My 5 year old son has started to ask for kisses from his female friends. If anyone ever comes to the house he will hide with them and kiss. Also he has just recently told me that they showed each other their private parts. I do feel it is harmless behaviour but just a bit unsure how to deal with this and if it is normal at such a young age.
Over the past few weeks he has also started to hide in the bushes and kiss girls at school. Now this I don't think a 5 year old should be doing?
Positive thing is that he is very open with me about it and we talk through things. Has anyone else experienced this. He will be 6 in November.
Thanks so much
9 Replies
It does sound like a normal stage that lots of kids go through but yes he does need educating not to do it. I absolutely remember this stuff going on when I was that age!
My son is 7 and has never displayed anything like this, I guess it depends on what your kids see in the home, I am affectionate with my kids they get kisses and hugs, but I also make sure that they don't see any sort of inappropriate touching in the home. Before my ex and I broke up he was always trying to grope me in front of the kids, I told him its fine to kiss me, its fine to hug me, its ok to slap me on the arse but its not ok to grope me or put his hands down my pants in front of them because I don't want them reenacting it and getting called out for being sexually perverted. Its our job to show them what is and isn't appropriate I guess what I am saying is if you don't want him to be called out and you want him to learn the norms and keep his friends ie showing a girl that age your privates is not appropriate until you get to 16 (which is the legal age of consent in the country) Tell him he can do what he likes to himself but there are things that are not appropriate at his age. Personally I know to many kids that have been abused by other kids and older kids to say that this isn't normal behavior and he would have had to see it somewhere before he reenacted it.
This is my question and I would like to add on to this. In no way does my son see inappropriate behaviour at home, I have also had a chat to him about stranger danger and what's right and wrong etc. . I think he is just interested in how the body works but I just never expected it this early and would love some helpful feedback from other who have had this with their own kids. Thanks so much.
1st responder. I remember my male neighbour and myself do similar stuff. We came from homes where we did not see sex acts at home or in tv and we didn't even know what sex was! We were just totally curious. I also remember being kissed by boys in primary school. Anyone remember kiss chasey? Of course we got in trouble and it shouldn't be encouraged but totally normal!
Thank you so much for this. I too remember playing kiss Chase etc but was just not sure if it was so young. I am hoping by guiding him to do the right thing etc he should start to understand :-)
I was definitely around the age of 5. :) By the time I was about 7 I knew it was not allowed. I saw an article on this ages ago. I just wished I knew where it was. It was written by a teacher about this same topic.
I just found this article for you :)
http://kidshealth.org/parent/growth/sexual_health/development.html#
Thank you so much. This has been so helpful!
I remember doing this to, about the same age, just curiosity and kids being kids. Also no 'inappropriate behavior' in our home to see. Once we were old enough to know whats what it quickly stoped and we were the normal shy kids you would find anywhere. To add none of us are sexual deviants or anything like that, I have only ever slept with my husband and the otheres all grew up to be functional members of society :)