I have two daughters from a previous relationship and I have been with my current partner for over 7 years now.
But our views on parenting really clash and it generally makes me feel sad and frustrated that he cannot see his approach is very immature.
For example, if my kids are not listening or talking back his response is to get angry and take their belongings or resort to name calling, which I really hate.
I believe that role modelling appropriate behaviour and being the adult is more important than trying to "get even".
He doesn't understand that I need him to be the adult, it often feels like I have 3 siblings fighting with each other and it is so stressful.
What should I do to make him see things from my perspective? Everytime I try and talk about it, he then gets angry at me and makes me feel like sh*t.
How does a couple in a blended family agree on a parenting style?
How does a couple in a blended family agree on a parenting style?
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage
6 Replies
7 years... I’m not sure your effectively going to change his approach...
He's not their dad so the discipline should be coming from you. He should not be speaking to another persons children like that, who does he think he is.
Hmmm... after that long I'm not sure you can change him. You need to work this out at the start, choose the right guy, and negotiate the way it'll all work before jumping in. Because Now you're all in, all you can really do is ask and if he wont change, you can leave.
The reality is that name calling isn't a parenting style - It's verbal abuse!
The fact that you can't even have a conversation about this without him getting mad and making you feel like shit is also pretty indicative that there's a bit of an unhealthy dynamic going on in your relationship as well.
If he hasn't seen the error in his ways or became open to change over a period of 7 years, he never will!
Sounds like you're the only one who can make changes at this point.
100 percent agree
Hey I was in this situation for 5 years , we had 6 children, 3 his 2 mine and one together, I ended up moving out this June. We are still in each others lives as friends just couldn't live under the same roof mainly for the purpose of how I wanted my children raised and his ideas were completely different. But all the kids including his were in my care 98 per cent of the time as he works long hours and my hands were tied with any rules or routine with his children it was just chaos and any mention of anything I got abuse by him for it. Honestly I think if you or your children are getting verbally abused rven after 7 years he's not going to change his way of thinking and I'd consider also leaving this situation.