Does anyone else feel like they were sprayed with a people repellent when they were born? I have never ever in my life had a friend or anyone I can honestly say liked me and I absolutely do not know why? Through primary school, high school, my cousins, jobs I’ve had, people will talk and be nice, and the whole time, even when I was little, I would think oh this is great. I’ve finally got a friend, but then off they go with other people, doing everything with everyone else. I never got invited anywhere. It’s like everyone else on the planet just clicks, except me. I really don’t know why! I don’t talk a lot, I’m polite, I’d do anything for anyone, I’m not “weird”, I’m not bogan. I just don’t know what it is about me? It’s honestly heart breaking. And I know it’s only social media, but I never ever get any likes on anything on Facebook, even if it’s 6 months between posts or whatever. What is wrong with me? Why won’t any one like me?
Why won’t anyone be my friend?
Why won’t anyone be my friend?
Posted in:
Life Lessons, Mental Health, Sisterhood Stories, Health & Wellbeing
12 Replies
Nothing.
You should go and speak to a psychologist. You might have an undiagnosed issue, for example asd can make it difficult for people to connect. Or perhaps you need some help in understanding social cues or relationships. You'll do better when you have that understanding of why it's so hard for you and always has been, what the barrier is, and they can help with that, so you can make some proper friends and build your network. You definitely deserve that.
Totally this !!! My 16yo son has ADHD and right through school he alienated himself without knowing why. He really didn't understand why others grew tired of him very fast. He was always just too full on for people. It wasn't until he recieved years of ADHD support in behavioral therapy did he realise what he was doing. Poor thing didn't even know he was giving off vibes that other's just couldn't deal with. He's much more aware now with all the years of help and now he is in year 11, holds down two jobs and extra curricular activities, has a great friend circle at School and now and gets invited everywhere.
Very shy or quiet people suffer the same reactions from others too, or even people who look 'different' to what society expects they should look like . My 21yo daughter is extremely quiet and rarely gets invited anywhere. She was always in the outcasts groups at school and it still is like that in social settings. She too just doesn't know why she doesn't appeal to others. She is learning to come out of her shell more though and to express her own personality. Neither one of my kids were happy - medium where society is concerned so both struggled a hell of a lot in different ways when it came to making and keeping friends.
It's such a crying shame though when people don't want to be friends with those who are different in some way. People are conditioned to gravitate toward what they deem as socially better acceptable. It's quiet a selfish state of being . A wide variety of friendship types balance people out and if we were all friends with others from all walks of life, the World would be a better place to be.
Are you in Melbourne by chance? I am always happy to make friends :)
I struggle with friends too. I always have. People clearly like me, it’s not that I’m a bad person, or not nice.
I have loads of acquaintances, but not friends that I go get a coffee with (until recently). I am on the spectrum (lvl1) and what I’ve realised is I miss a step in the social contract so people don’t know to take that next step with me.
The friend that has managed to make it through is so ridiculously outgoing that it hasn’t occurred to her to even wait for that missing cue!
I’m working with my psychologist to compensate, buy being brave enough to invite people out.
I do.... but when I reflect on my school years i understand why. I was bossy, and a compulsive lier. Once I reached high school I couldn't open my mouth with out crap coming out. I didn't struggle to make friends, keeping them was the problem. Now as n adult, I feel my lack of proper friendships has affected my friendships now. Im no longer bossy, im not a lier, but I'm blunt and don't sugar coat anything. Some people like that, others don't.
I feel reflecting on the past helps answer so many questions. In theropy, I realised that I was the reason growing up, and im learning from that now. Im leaning now to not be so blunt as it does come of judgemental, or bossy.
I feel the same too, its very discouraging isn't it :(
Are you in Brisbane by any chance? I need new friends!
I feel exactly like this all the time, my family also treat me like crap , I'm currently homeless and have absolutely no one , I put up a post about it too , not one comment. Its a terrible feeling. *Hugs to you*
Maybe see if there's any mum and bub groups on Facebook and ask if anyone would like to catch up. We need eHarmony but for friendships lol I feel like I need to go back to high school to make friends
Oh honey I feel you on this, this is me, I am lucky enough to have 2 really close friends one of which is my cousin, I have really serve social anxiety, so I tend to hide myself away from people, I’ll chat and things but the thought of actually going out and mixing with people who aren’t my people makes me physically ill, there is nothing wrong with you please don’t ever think this is, it hurts I know and it is really sucky and I hope you find your people soon!
Friendship requires two way actions. Do you ever initiate or ask a person to join you in an activity? Maybe you just need to reach out and be proactive. Worth a try, you’ve got nothing to lose.
Also, join a club/craft/choir, find your people.