My 2 yr old doesn't like kissing his 9yr old sister (my step daughter) on the lips, and everyone actually gets angry at HIM for not wanting to kiss her.
Relatives etc will call him a 'turd' and actually force him to kiss her.
She is very 'in your face' with him, always demanding kisses and cuddles, and getting sulky if he doesn't reciprocate.
Should I say something or just keep quiet?
Sister always wanting kisses on the mouth from brother
Sister always wanting kisses on the mouth from brother
Posted in:
Baby & Toddler, Kids
16 Replies
Yes I’d say something.
I don’t have a 2 year old but nobody wants to be kissed all the time and the 9 year old is old enough to learn.
Say something! He’s your son and you’re his advocate, especially at 2.
My children all grew up having their body respect and that included not being forced to hug or kiss anyone they didn’t want to. I didn’t (still don’t) care if it was their Nanna. If they didn’t want a hug they didn’t have to submit to one. If they didn’t want to kiss someone they didn’t have too.
I would always say something like ‘I’m teaching my child they have a right to say no when it comes to their body and what happens with it, he/she doesn’t want a hug/kiss right now so please don’t force them too’
His grandma is the same, always forcing hugs and kisses.
Both grandma and stepdaughter are very affectionate people.
My husband isn't, neither am I, so I find it really uncomfortable when they both pester him for hugs and kisses
That’s okay it works for them let them do that to people that are comfortable with it but have a chat and just let them know it’s not okay for your son. He doesn’t want it and shouldn’t have it forced on him ❣️ Start with what I said as a suggestion (or get hubby too). He might grow up to be the worlds most affectionate little dude but right now it’s not what he wants and as he’s only 2 he needs mum and dad to say something.
My parents forced me to hug and kiss people (and allowed others to force hugs and kisses from me). I struggled as a child/teen/young adult with safe boundaries and was caught in a few situation where I didn’t know how to say no cause it made me feel bad about asking the person to stop cause I was made to feel that way when I didn’t want it as a child.
This is why I raised my kids to not have it forced on them. I didn’t want them to ever feel like saying no about what was happening to their body was the wrong thing to do.
I tell you what, relative or otherwise, they'd only call my kid a turd in this context once.
I have very little tolerance for that sort of thing.
2 year olds have as much right as anyone else to decline kisses. It annoys the crap out of me when people don't respect toddler's personal space and bodily autonomy. They're people too!
Speak up for sure! These rellos need to pull their heads in and Miss 9 needs to learn that we don't force affection on people.
Its so hard because Miss 9 is extremely affectionate, so is his grandma, I have tried saying he's in a bad mood, don't force it, but she just continues to do it and getting mad at him when he doesn't reciprocate.
I don't like forcing affection, but I'm not an affectionate person either, so I don't know what's right
When she does it and he gets upset, give him sympathy. "It's OK, you don't feel like cuddles do you, you just want to play with your toys". She will hopefully feel awkward and leave him alone. My exes younger siblings were forever doing this and picking them up when they were happy playing or sitting then call them naughty for getting upset.
Great idea, I will say this next time.
I'm forever saying to her, 'He's in a bad mood and doesn't feel like it', but it goes into deaf ears and she keeps trying.
Its amazing how kids are called 'bad' for wanting their personal space
You don't even have to say he's in a bad mood. Just simply say “he’s said no! You need to accept no as an answer. Please respect his personal space”
One of my nephews will quite happily give me a hug the other point out refuses. I tell him its ok but instead can i have a Hi 5 to say catch you later. My nieces have always refused kisses and none of us forced it onto them either. We never said to them they were rude or naughty. We aren't an overly affectionate family which goes back to how we were raised. However in saying that. My partner and i are very affectionate towards each other and our two youngest kids are very affectionate and crave touch so we hug them as much as they want to be hugged even if i don't enjoy it ax much as i should.
I find forcing affection creepy.
Id probably be more along the lines of “you want to kiss and hug him so much its kind of creepy that you don't take him saying no as an answer”
Came to say the same thing!
Saying he's in a bad mood kind of implies that forcing affection when he's in a good mood is okay.
Consent is not conditional based on one's mood.
You can't beat around the bush with people who push the boundaries.
"He doesn't want to be kissed. You need to stop". It doesn't need any further explanation.
There is no way in hell I would let my TWO YEAR OLD son around anyone that thinks it’s acceptable to call him a turd!!!!! What the hell??!! If they are resorting to calling a toddler such horrible names now, how on earth are they going to treat him when he’s older?? NOT OKAY.
Absolutely say something.
I have a 9yr old boy and 5yr old girl. Both know it's their choice to hug and/or kiss someone.
My daughter flipped it one day coz her brother would hug her but refused to kiss her. I'm not forcing either child to do that with anyone regardless of if they are related or not.
I want them to know they have power over themselves if they are ever in an uncomfortable situation.
Speak up!! I will not allow my kids to kiss anyone on the lips.tell them you aren’t comfortable with it and her taught your child that it’s a no no.!
Absolutely amazing, there's always those asshole Facebook people out there who assume I am an evil stepmother simply because I mentioned she is a stepdaughter.
I mentioned this because I didn't think it was my place to say no, she shouldn't kiss him when he doesn't want to.
And yes.
My MIL and even my partner both tell HIM off for not kissing her back.
It makes me uncomfortable and he obviously doesn't want it
Ignore them. Their comments are lauguable. Just because they haven't come across a situation like this you must be lying... ok sure. Their comments say alot more about them then it does about you.
I shouldn't post step parenting questions because I get people doing this to me every time