On your darkest days, Do you ever fantasize about vanishing... just disappearing.
Just being one of those who walked out the door left everything and vanished......
Sometimes I do. I don't think I could ever follow through....I love my kids and would miss them terribly....
But in my darkest moments... I just want to walk away....into thin air, I don't think anyone understands right now..that I need a break.
My husband is very much one of those " you need a break, well I also need a break " kinds of people..... which just invalidates my cries for help. Maybe he does so need a break...but I can't give him one when I have fallen to peices.
I can't take much more.
I don't know why I'm even writing this... I guess just getting thoughts out....maybe when the kids are old enough I can get respite by disappearing.
6 Replies
I’m the same way you invalidate him.
You both can need a break that is ok. It’s not a competition. Work together instead of resenting each other.
Ask friends or family to take the kids for a night or two.
Look for opportunities to have an hour. Go for a walk when the kids are asleep. Take a bath chill with music..
Yes. I used to look at my keys I was that close. That's depression, or some kind of stress or anxiety bearing down, please go and get some help.
Eta my ex never used to give me a break either. Not a coincidence that you're feeling at that stage. You cant go on forever.
Yes. I must say though, when I'm at this point, so is my husband. And me giving him time out or him giving me time out just puts more on the other person who is already not coping. We usually need a time out together for it to actually help and that's hard to arrange.
Offer that if he takes kids full time one weekdnd, he gets the next weekend free. Both get a break from kids and time to yourselves. It is absolutely necessary for general wellbeing to have a break
Firstly talk to the GP get a mental health plan.
I find when one partner is at breaking point the other probably is too, your not being invalidated by those comments, maybe you both need to be heard. Do you both work? maybe plan an annual leave day and have a picnic, walk, go to the beach.... what ever you need. maybe set up a deal with hubby that once a month you both get a day to do your own thing, escape for a bit. then on the other weekends plan some quality family time, park, picnic what ever fits. Tell your family friends and get help as needed, or use daycare once a week so you can have a bit of down time. there is lots of ways to juggle, you just have to want to do it
Oh Mumma. I can promise you that you are not alone. While I would never be able to leave my child the rest of my family I’d almost have no troubles with. (Single mum and only child) my ex my mum my sister I could easily just disappear. I am so sorry you are feeling this way. Maybe it’ll pass maybe a chat to your GP would be a good place to start. You are not alone Mumma. And I hope that you get the break you need. Maybe daycare for the children 2 days a week would be a place to start. All the best and big hugs all round.