I was just watching Doctor Phil and had a realisation that the dramas that my S.I.L has cause is just her insecurities that she takes out on me.
The twin episode.
I did know this and I must have just needed to be told one more time.
Sooooo How do I now not care.
I really want to not care about the lies and the horrible things she has done.
Do I just sweep it all under the rug and pity her?
I know she will never give me an apology (I have been waiting for 3 years)
I'm over all the rubbish, its done a fair bit of damage.
I did tell people closest to me last week that If they all want to visit us they all have to get on.
I'm no longer being the door mat for them to pay each other out on.
So what I'm after is tips on how not to care.
Personally I am really happy with my life and how its panned out and want those who are around me to just get on with each other and stop the rubbish.
I know why they don't get on.
My family don't like the way my S.I.L and M.I.L treat me, and My S.I.L is a mean awful person and my M.I.L justifies her behaviour.
If my daughter was in this situation I would be annoyed as well, but it really doesn't help. My Poor hubby has to love his family no matter what and also wants to pull them up. It makes special occasions very stressful.
But today, my hands are in the air, and they can say what they like.
Hopefully I keep my strength up and just forget about the past and move on.
3 Replies
Hahaha, good for you. I've seen that episode and yeah I have a family member who fits that role. I think pity and sadness is the right attitude. Once you understand and really get that it's sooo not about you it does get so much easier. It's never perfect but if you can get you family on board to understand this then it helps otherwise just have separate get togethers. We have a very large family so very rarely have to be in the same room with in laws and that's the way we like it! Probably the only time we are together is kids birthdays which are usually over in a few hours so manageable :)
Well done! I have shit in laws too who do nothing but try cause trouble & think of themselves & nobody else. My way of dealing with it is fuck them! Karma is going to get them in the future & it's their fault they've lost us. They did this to themselves, so they have nobody to blame but themselves, even though they try to put all the blame on me. They've made their beds, now they can lie in them!
Thanx girls! (poster here)I think that's our biggest drama.
We live interstate from our family and they first off were staying in our house (my parents bought up a camper)
Then they started staying in a cabin park (that worked until my family got on really well with my inlaws, and my S.I.L decided a white lie would cause a heap on chaos, and that it did)
Then we said one family come for one kids birthday and one for the other (our kids are 14 months apart)
Last year we put a stop to them visiting on birthdays all together (S.I.L was rude to our friends and us at last years party)
This year I banned birthday parties (just my mum came up for a few days)
Don't even get me started on the our wedding
Our kids are just turned 5 and about to turn 4, not once have they had a peaceful birthday
even my boys birth was a struggle (Mum came while I was in hospital, M.I.L got annoyed as we said no to both of them here)
Our younger we didn't tell anyone the correct due date as they were going to book flights and just come.
Its been a very hard few years, but now I can see that its their stupidity
I cant make them get on, white flag is up