Hi ladies please help me out. I need to find a way to tell one of my bridesmaids that I no longer require them to be apart of my bridal party as this person just doesn't seem to have any interest in my life as such. Everytime she comes within close proximity of where I live I have always made an effort to see her when she does tell me that she is coming close by but the last handful of times she hasn't told me. I find out from other people that she was in town. I love her as my friend and I am always the one to see how she is doing. So I need to tell her without sounding horrible and letting her down lightly. Please be nice, I am struggling as it is.
Thank you so much.
Dropping a bridesmaid
Dropping a bridesmaid
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage
8 Replies
Maybe she is busy? You could be having unfair expectations. If you don't though, she probably won't care. Think carefully and don't react rashly. If you do need to decrease a bridesmaid, don't replace her or it will be friendship over. I'd be tending to explain that the groomsmen number has decreased to be honest. Oh... And asking her to do a reading or be MC or something else to continue to give the message that she's important to you.
May be she is your friend but weddings etc are just not her thing? Personally, I'm busy with my own life and can only take on so much. A wedding is a wedding is a wedding 🤷♀️
Have an understudy who agrees to this, take her place. Then that way u dont have to even say anything if speaking up isnt your thing .
Why not reach out and ask her if she still wants to be bridesmaid? Maybe she's busy or stressed? I know I'm hopeless with contact when I'm busy or stressed, I just keep putting it off. If she is a close enough friend for you to have asked in the first place then you owe it to her to give her a chance at explaining.
I wouldn't bother tbh if this were me. I had a BM that kept saying yes to being mine but i sensed she wasn't in it. Upon checking, it was always a 'yes i wouldnt miss it for the world' blah, blah, blah.
The day comes andThe bitch never showed up. Its too big a day to be fucked over for. So asking her isn't going to work. It will be better to drop her and just pick someone else. But then again , i 'am' speaking from my own experience
Just tell her you've had to change plans. Blame covid. Tell her you've had to change the bridal party, and really sorry to undo an offer but its not possible anymore.
If you feel like shes not your mate, you're probably right and she'll be relieved too.
I had a bridesmaid that I wanted to drop. I didn't drop her because I felt bad, didn't want the confronting conversation, and we have a lot of history.
She stayed on as my bridesmaid, but less then a month after the wedding she dumped me as a friend.
Now I have wedding photos littered with her all through them. Wedding day stress and unhappy memories caused by her being a bitch.... it was HUGE regret.
If you don't want her there. You have to have that Hard conversation to protect your wedding and your memories! I promise you, you will regret it if you don't.
Look at the big picture and the balance of bridesmaids-grooms. It's your day what do you want?
If you do want her as part of it maybe just don't expect anything of her rewarding but keep her if you think it will ruin the friendship... but if the friendship is good and strong you will find a way to talk to her.
My best friend who was maid of honour at my wedding asked me to be matron of honour at hers. Then she mended fences with her sister and decided she wanted her as matron of honour and I stepped back to 2nd.
Another friend didn't ask me to be in her wedding party and she dropped a bridesmaid then chose someone else who ended up pulling out and she had had to select another one. Still I was not chosen... and then on the day there were tears and dramas... well guess who was the one who did everything on the night and organised everything with her beforehand etc and after the wedding she realised I should have been her bridesmaid. Oh well...
So yeah changes to wedding parties happen and it's not the end of the world. But it's your day, one that has many photos which you keep for years. Think about who will be there for you for years to come and be a part of the marriage etc. Who will support you, help you and be there on the day as well as afterwards.
Good luck