My 11 year old son is going through puberty, he's my eldest so I haven't been through this before as a parent.
He is experiencing what I'd describe as anxiety, it only happens at night before bed and only some nights. It was recently while at a sleepover with his aunty.
He will say things like 'mum I'm sorry I was naughty when I was younger I know I did bad things' I always explain all kids made mistakes and do things wrong, it's just a part of growing up and learning.
He has also things like 'sometimes I wanna hurt things that are cute, like squeeze them, does that mean I'm a bad person'
I asked him if he would ever hurt someone, himself or something. He says no he would never but sometimes his brain thinks those things previous mentioned.
He gets quite upset and confused and cries, once I explain and calm him he's absolutely fine and forgets about it the next day.
He also deals with some seperation anxiety at sleepovers (I did too at his age).
Is this normal? I want to make sure I'm doing the best for him and because I don't know what's normal and what's not it makes me question the way I handle things like this.
4 Replies
Just google “cute aggression” its very normal! There’s a reason why it’s common for people to say something is so cute they want to squeeze it. It’s the brains response to being overwhelmed and while we don’t know exactly why it happens it is common.
He needs to see a child psychologist they are great and will make him understand it’s all normal but please get him into one ASAP. Take him to the dr and get a care plan so he gets 10 visits and a referral. I take my son who is 12 for his anxiety and they are fantastic.
There is a book called emotional intelligence, id suggest reading that, it helped me a lot with my kids. Just start researching childhood anxiety and steategies that can help him and you.
Thank you for all your supportive comments and suggestions.
I had a chat to my son and we decided to both join the BRAVE program online, he is already in a program with a councillor at school too to help him understand his feelings and emotions.
He hasn't had anymore troubles in over a week so hopefully our chat we had helped a little bit too.
If it does become more severe or more frequent I will definitely seek more help.
Thank you again.