I haven’t dated in years after separating from my children’s father. Now I’ve been exclusively talking to someone since June (but I’ve known them for years as a friend) seeing them 3 days/nights a week, our kids get along etc etc
How soon is too soon to want to officially be together, it sounds so immature but boyfriend/girlfriend ? I feel like we should label it by now but he says there’s no rush. I feel like I want to label it as more than just dating.
How soon before your settle as officially together as a couple into a relationship
How soon before your settle as officially together as a couple into a relationship
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage
12 Replies
I wouldn’t have them around my kids if they didn’t see me as officially there ‘girlfriend’.
While they are in ‘no rush’ they can keep well away from my kids!
Just ask him if you's are exclusively in a relationship bcoz from your end it does seem that way.
Bit concerning though how he has said 'no rush'. That sounds a little bit like you could just be at fuck buddy stage still, in his mind.
You could be exclusive to him, but it doesnt sound like he's exclusive to you with his 'no rush' attitude. I'd say it's almost certain you are his friend with benefits. He could even have a few of you on the go at once, so ask him.
Sounds like he may still be “playing the field”.
Spends 3 nights a week but isn’t prepared to label it. No Thanks
Don’t involve your kids in your dating life.
The label has to match tbe things youre doing. So youve got your kids overinvolved as hes not in.
Its fine to expect him to be, you have to listen when to them though and know when they are stringing you along or just dont want what you want out of it.
I was engaged faster than that. Happily married 10.5 years, together 12.5. Mates have been cautious like he is when they've been cheated on and divorced though. There us no right or wrong. I agree that if he won't commit to being your boyfriend after 5 months it's a red flag that maybe he doesn't see it as being long-term though. Just keep your wits about you. If you haven't introduced the kids as anything other than mates and just act like mates around them I see no harm there....
Update. We have labelled it exclusive dating, but that’s as far as it is. He says he wants to ask me to be his girlfriend in a special way and wants to make sure we’re not bickering in the month before that and things like that. It’s just arghhhh haha
That’s lovely then if he’s genuine. He sounds decent
Wow what is the bid deal.. no rush may be a red flag.! Maybe he doesn’t plan on being in a serious relationship.
I wouldn’t be having them around my kids if this was the case. Maybe he isn’t as keen as you are.
Took me a month. Recently in a similar situation, a friend of over 13 years and I reconnected and have been together pretty much since. It was official within a month of us meeting up again as we scarcely seen each other due to the feelings and myself being in a previous relationship. In saying that I have a child that is of an age where I could ask their opinion and feelings on the matter before progressing. If old enough talk to your kids to see how they feel. Also talk to the other party because saying no rush sounds like they're not at your level. Good luck.