It seems my partner is more interested in porn or masturbating but we haven’t had sex in 2weeks, when we do it, it’s always just 2x or three times a month but he would be happy paying for a porn subscription and jerking off to it. Can anyone please shed a light on this? (My partner is a stay at home dad and i work from home but he was diagnosed with depression ever since he lost his job and no he’s not cheating)
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Porn is easy, it requires absolutely nothing of the user. He doesn’t have to worry about another persons feelings or enjoyment. Just his own happy ending.
The more he does it the more he is drawn to it because again, it requires nothing of him.
Jerking off to porn is quick and easy. You get to look at or what exactly what you are in the mood for and it’s gets the job done without having to put to much effort it
Is he approaching you for sex first before going to have a pull?
Nope he never does
Have you tried to open the lines of communication? Masturbated with him? Asked to join? Seduced him?
He always masturbates when im asleep, he waits til I’m in bed and snoring
How do you know? You're in bed snoring.
I asked him when was the last time he did it and he’d tell me himself
Two weeks without sex isn’t that long
Massive red flags 🚩
My husband had a long standing addiction to porn.
I battled for years for his attention.
After many years of asking him to stop, he finally realised he had a problem.
Got a mental health care plan and went to therapy.
Porn can be closely linked as a sex addiction.
My husband that I know of has never cheated and it seemed to stop at just the porn.
It retrains your brain.
As far as I know he has been porn free for 2 years now (he watched for 20+ years on and off)
Our relationship & then marriage almost broke down many times.
It took me to basically leave him for him to get help, your partner needs to recognise he has a problem & be willing to get help.
A lot will just say watching porn is normal, but it is only because our society has made it the norm, but you alone should be good enough for him, if you don’t feel you’re & you don’t think it is something you both will successfully be able to work with than walk!
It took me a long time to realise this, I watched with him, dressed up & tried to let him do things to me he watched thinking it would help but it actually made the situation worse.
It still to this day isn’t something I completely at peace with, I have started to learn to trust him a small amount which I am still working on, but I don’t forgive him for what he put he through for 10+ years.
He would often say things about my body and appearance post kids, tell me it was my fault he watched it, maybe if I did this or did that etc
DO NOT BUY INTO IT!
He is obviously very apologetic and is working on himself massively, but the past still affects our relationship on a daily basis.
Convenant eyes is a good resource to read through (it is American and very religious here and there- I am not at all religious, but the info is there)
Also have a little watch of this video..
Have a look at the website fight the new drug. Read and learn.
To anyone who says she should watch it with him. No. She should not.
This is damaging behaviour.
I personally am now just waiting for my youngest to be old enough to understand and to leave. Hubby and I are just flatmates. He works nights, I work days and run kids around. He spends his time at home sleeping and masturbating. I'm lucky to get a kiss when we're home together and I am exhausted.
I have shed so many tears and pleaded but alas, no changes. We get along and coparent well definitely in the friend zone after 17yrs. I've only got about 5yrs or so to go........
That's tragic. He'll eventually tire of it or move on to more deviant behaviour . He's lost the chance of relationship which is the most fulfilling aspect of life.