My partner is going through a rough time. He has been diagnosed with depression and has just started medication. He has been messaging a work colleague for support. She is female. And he has started to hide his phone from me. I saw one of her messages and asked who she was. He got defensive and said she is just a work mate.
I asked him why he is hiding her messages. He said he didn't want to hurt me, because she was female. He will not show me the messages.
He said he needs someone other than me to talk to. I suggested a trained councillor.
I feel emotionally cheated on. I want to message her and find out what is going on. Not sure what to do.
Emotional cheating or no?
Emotional cheating or no?
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage
7 Replies
You dont need to message her. Your feelings are valid. You are right, a trained professional is who he needs. Dont lryhim excuse shitty behaviour, Im sure his depression is putting strain on you too and you have needs too... is he really being fair and honest here?
Dont message her. Just get the truth from him. If he cant give you the truth or show you messages, that would be clear enough for me that he is hiding something.
I'd say he's hiding his messages because he's talking about how home is impacting on him more than having an emotional affair. If he's struggling he likely is just consulting a friend. A psychologist would help though
That’s fine for him to speak to someone else but hiding it is dodgey.
Oh I would absolutely be calling her and asking her what the deal was..In fact I have done this in the past when I was with my ex!
Good luck 💙
My feeling is he has feelings for her. This might have started innocently with no intentions on his behalf but I wouldn’t be suprised if he has cheated physically or is about to. I hope you have support x
I feel like I could have written this myself 2 years ago.
We were having issues in our marriage, my husband was suffering depression and his way of coping was to seek out another female to talk to..
I found out and seen all the messages and it honestly destroyed me and any trust I had in him. The things he said about me to her and the things they said about Eachother is something I’ll never forget. It made me feel so worthless that he could talk about me that way and think his life would be better with her.
I kicked him out. I was completely destroyed. We worked on our marriage, went to counselling and spoke about everything. We are still together and communicate 100% better than we ever have. It’s taken a lot of work. I still have my days where it’s hard but I’m getting there. He is such a different person now and so am I.
As sad as it is I get satisfaction that her life is going so horrible now because they caused me so much pain.
I have no advice for you but I want you to know your not alone and you do deserve to see what was said because this will eat you up inside.