Is it better to have someone than not at all?
Someone to help with kids and house work?
Even though there is no love, lots of resentment and arguing?
Why do I have to take on even more tasks of running a household, cleaning and raising children while he gets to move out, play Xbox and have very little responsibility??
How is that fair? How does that even make him try and improve / grow up / be a parent?
7 Replies
Fuck fair. Mine can play xbox all day or jump off a cliff for all I care, as long as hes not in my home or near me. Some people add nothing. Actually they take away and also hold you back from building the community you need. Peace is priceless.
I’d rather do absolutely everything myself than watch someone disrespect me.
I may do everything but I’m sure not going to do everything while someone else watches.
I’d rather be single for the rest of my life.
Would you want this for your kids? Would you advise that they stay in an unhappy, unhealthy relationship just to make their lives slightly more convenient?
I'm guessing you wouldn't.
But that's inadvertently what you're teaching them.
I would rather be alone and not look after third person than have help with my two kids. Be alone and happy and wait for the right person
To answer this
No ... it’s not better to have someone over no one at all.
What does you partner/ex add to your relationship?
Does he cook? Clean? Parent? Partner you? Or does he hinder you.
When I told my ex it was time to go, his gaming was more important than me or our children. My last string was when all I asked him to do was ensure he did the dishes before I got home from work. I got home they were not done. Nothing was done. House was trashed, kids hadn’t been fed and he was on his computer. Then he assaulted me in front of our oldest child.
When he left I knew I had to do it all on my own. I couldn’t rely on anyone. Our lives got better even if it was all on me to parent and do the house work. Eventually I was getting a whole 24 hour period kid free to enjoy. He would try and reneg on having the kids especially when he knew I was going out. It was his way of controlling me. Thank gully I had an awesome support system who would step up when he stepped out of the picture and they would have them if I had plans. So I still got time to myself and if my family couldn’t I got and paid for a babysitter.
These days I have an amazing parter, he raises my/our children like his own. There’s no inequality. He cooks and cleans and works. I’m so glad I didn’t settle for less with my ex and the nest bit is. His gaming doesn’t come first. Myself and the kids do and I don’t mind if he takes time out to play station as he’s amazing in all other ways.
This sounds like where I have been. I felt overwhelmed but realised it was no different from when I was in that relationship! he still did zip, zero, nada. He ended up remarrying and taking lots of holidays without his children. I realised over time my children did not care whether he was around or not because they were always used to him not being present, even when he was physically there. I thought I would NEVER, EVER trust another man again. Many years later I met a man and without any intention of getting myself into a relationship, found myself in one. It's now over 4 years later and I can honestly say this man has sacrificed and spent so much time making my life easier that for a period of time I felt sooo guilty and like I honestly did not deserve him. He is the absolute opposite of my ex and every day I am reminded of it by the way he treats us. Yes us, because my kids adore him too. Please do not settle, those thoughts will eventually pass and even if you do not find another partner, kids only grow up once and you have the rest of your life to have way more fun than playing an xbox ;-)
No.