I have separated from my husband, been married for 17 years. I have asked him to leave as it became so unbearable living with him. I would like to hear people’s stories of when they seperated from partner. Did you know it was over straight away or did you give them a time limit if they didn’t meet you half way it was over or did the separation help to salvage the relationship? I know I am in a critical time where I have to set boundaries and not give in. I have to think of my children and create a safe home for them. It’s just so hard to not hope that he comes back but deep down i know if I let him back nothing will change.
5 Replies
I left after his 15 year meth addiction. Half of that time he lied to my face repeatedly that he was clean. Until i caught him out and knew he wasn't. I just couldn't be long suffering anymore . The kids and i mattered and it was time to go.
There's only so many chances a person can give to another.
When it's time it's time . You'll know . Because you won't look back with any more emotion. And no means no and is easier to enforce.
You'll just know.
It's the fear of the unknown. You've spent every day with someone for a large portion of your life. So it's always going to be scary and hard.
It sounds like you know what to do. Stick to your guns and if he wants to come back set rules. Things he has to do before you'll let him back.
Honestly once you leave and you get a taste of what life can be like without their influence and drama you won’t want to go back or have him back. it may take time (Took me three years to grieve for the end of a 17 year marriage) but now after almost 7 years apart I would NEVER ever want to spend another day with that man. In fact we just don’t speak to each other at all now the kids are of an age that they can arrange their own visits to each parent and have their own phones (both are teenagers). My life is infinitely better without him in it.
It might take some time mumma to learn how to live in your own world, but do yourself a favour and put yourself first, for probably the first time in the last 17 years, and enjoy your life. You have earnt it. Initially it will be hard But you will see that it was worth it! Good luck and best wishes. Lots of virtual hugs being sent in your direction xx
This is my life right now. Almost 7weeks since I asked him to move out. Wondering if it will work out or not after 20years. Attending marriage counselling but still not certain of what the future holds or what is the best thing for me. Best of luck x
I told my ex to leave straight away. He was always yelling at me or the kids. we were always doing something wrong in his books. And I snapped I had enough of the constant arguing. I couldn't do it anymore I have children and that's not a way I wanted them to treat or be treated when they are in a relationship... I was with him for 14 years.