I am not sure if my friends don't actually like me or if they don't like my children but we never get invited to any events and good ol' Facebook is where I find out about the events after they've occurred and then they'll say 'You should have come' { if I knew I would have} It would just be nice to be included sometimes.
6 Replies
I cant really offer you advice on why they're doing it but i might be able to offer you a longer term solution...
I learnt a valuable lesson a few years back when something similar happened to me - put a party/get together of your own on, make it special, bake something extraordinary (eg your famous brownie) and invite your friends along... It does wonders when they see the effort you've gone to for them. Sounds a little roundabout but I can tell you it's a great ice-breaker and has been a great way to help me and my family fit into new communities when we've moved.
That must really hurt you. Could you ask them why you aren't included? maybe organise afternoon tea at a park or something like that?
Just a question... Do your friends have children themselves? Sometimes when you have children, those that don't sometimes feel that you're possibly too busy with your kiddies and therefore forget to include you, they don't realize if given the chance you would get the children sat and hit the town, or go to the movies or dinner without them, I'm absolutely positive it's not that they don't like your kids, it's just an over site, I've dealt with the same situation myself, when the kids were little I refused invites (cos it is hard to leave a baby) but once they got older you can get a sitter, but the social damage was already done, it's just a case of re-establishing your social availability... Once your friends realize that your life hasn't ended because you have kids the invites will start back up... Don't fret :)
Big hugs. I know it's not a nice feeling from experience myself :-) and my brain tends to think the worst too!
Sometimes asking straight out is the best way, or at least it creates awareness that you are keen to join them. Most often I find, people just forget to think of others and include them!
But please don't let your happiness depend on them. Make you own plans and stick closer to those who have always remembered you and reached out to you. Sending love! x
Yep! Been my dilemma since the birth of my first son. However I try not to take it personally anymore as I am far too busy and tired to care now!
Are the childless? People without children generally don't get it and have different interests than us. And they probably don't do it on purpose! You may find that when they settle down and start having a family your friendship with them will change again on a different level.
You have to ask yourself also, do you make an effort with them? That's what I have learnt, it goes both ways :-)
learnt this the hard way i agree try and organise something ur self if they come and things get better great, if not then they are probably just being "polite". i spent a long time think a group of girls were my friends and they were no such thing just watch yourself