Hi IM'S
Currently in the process of taking the father of my children to court as he refused mediation regarding the care of our children. I am trying to change our current care arrangement for our 2 children (12 and 10) Current arrangement is that the boys live with me 1 week and with him the other week.
Our communication is horrible and he puts me down every chance he gets , i can’t speak to him at all and hate having to see him because of what he has done (long story there)
The main issue at the moment is that the boys come to my house after school (during HIS week) and he picks them up from my house anywhere between 6 pm-7pm...I get home at 5 pm from work. the issue with this is firstly he never tells me what time he will come and our 10 years old anxiously waits for him, secondly the boys get hungry and he doesn't want me to give them dinner as he wants to eat with them. I also do soccer training whether it's my week or not as he doesn't make it back from work on time. Thirdly this arrangement means I have to see him every school day and I hate him and it’s not good for my mental health to see him. I take our children to all their dr, dentist, optomitrist and counselling appointment as he never offers to do it and I don't ask.
What I want to know is, would me doing all these things during the week that the children are meant to be with him, does it look favorably for me in court or am I just making his life easier? I hope this makes sense
3 Replies
I dont know but i think it should and i think you need to lead with the practical set up, not the personal issue. Its fine to not want to see him daily or even frequently and youre right its not good for you, but dont start with that.
Can he just beep the horn and you usher the kids out the door so there’s no contact? Or can he put the kids in ohsc on his nights so you’re not having to pick them up? If the 10yo looks forward to seeing him I think it’s unfair to reduce time, you don’t state what it is he didn’t agree to in mediation, are you trying to go to just every second weekend or just wanting a different arrangement?
It sounds like he is using the arrangement to control and abuse you.
It’s totally reasonable to expect him to manage his own child care arrangements on his week.
If you have a lawyer it’s best to speak to them about your chances.
I’d be looking for either a true 50/50 situation where he arranges his own after school care that isn’t you or him having one weekend a fortnight.