My husband and I have been married for 6 years. He has another child from a previous relationship who we have stay with us 50% of the time and we also have a 3 year old together. I really want another child but my husband says he already has two and that’s enough. I feel like I’m really starting to resent him and almost seeing him differently. It was never discussed that we would only have one baby. I feel like he has made this decision entirely in his own. Has anyone else dealt with a similar situation. Would love some advice. X
15 Replies
Was it ever discussed that he wanted more than one baby with you?
And ask him what his reasons are for saying no more . He may have legitimate comcerns. He already has two and they aren't cheap to raise..
You have just one so i can see why you want another , and if its that important to you and you resent him so much then it might be time to set him free
children are expensive, I can see why he is done with two children to raise. If he doesn’t want anymore that is 100% his decision to make. If you so desperately want another baby, it might be time to start the processes of leaving and finding somebody else to impregnate you. But you will then have to hand you child over 50% of the time.
Money isn’t the issue. We are more than comfortable financially. I don’t want someone to just “impregnate” me as you put it. I want my husband to understand that this decision isn’t his alone.
Yes it is. He has the right to not want more children. You don’t get to change his mind on that. It would be the same as a women saying she didn’t want anymore children but her husband wanted more. You either have to except that or move on.
Right but surely he needs to realise his choice is a forced decision hes made for his partner. He could show that he understands that.
Thank you, I feel completely lost with his decision. I don’t think he would ever resent having another baby as he is a brilliant dad but I fear I will end up resenting him if we don’t 😔
He definitely could resent it because hes said he doesnt want it. He doesnt want to go through it all again, people can love the kid once its here and definitely still resent all of the ways a baby changes things.
You need to talk more though.
He very well may resent another child. He has told you no. Listen to that. He does not want anymore! Please don’t justify that he will love it once it is here as a way to “accidentally” fall pregnant. He loves the ones he has. Doesn’t mean he will love another baby or you if it was to happen again
He would likely love the innocent baby, but he may not love you anymore.
Co-parenting is super tough. It takes a lot mentally/emotionally. You feel pulled in two directions and feel like your letting one of your kids down all the time. Plus making sure that child feels as if they are part of the ‘new’ family and not feeling on the outer when they come to stay.
Co-parenting is also expensive and kids get more expensive as they get older.
Take all of that out and 2 kids is plenty for a lot of people and when you get involved with someone who already had kids it’s a risk you run.
If you resent him, for being honest and feeling like he has enough on his plate, then you need to work through that. Nobody should have a child when they feel done and don’t want another. It’s not healthy for the potential child.
You’ve got choices here, you can decide to be resentful, you can decide to have empathy for his situation, or you can decide that this is a deal breaker for you and move on.
It's better to regret a child you didn't have than one you did have! If he doesn't want another child that's his decision. You can either accept it or find someone else who wants more kids.
I dont think anybody owes you babies. You have to take it as it comes, and handle the situation at hand each time.
He can decide no, thats his right. But you dont feel heard.
i only ended up with one, you can resent life and it will probably take away all your happiness or you can thank god and appreciate the one plus steppy you have. Let’s not forget, 50 percent of the time, you have another and your child has a sibling.
I learnt a long time ago to take away expectations of what you think your life “should be”, it rarely goes to plan and enjoy the blessings you have. Respect your man for knowing this is his limit, he obviously takes parenting very serious and is an awesome dad, lots of men father heaps of kids and don’t give a shit. Grief it, but don’t stay there, chin up, you’ve got this x
I also have 2 kids, one from previous relationship and she’s with us 99.9% my partner has been pushing for another baby but I also feel like 2 is enough for me. I feel for him don’t get me wrong that he feels like one of his own isn’t enough but it’s my life too.
That's pretty unfair of you to push him on this. Imagine if you had in your mind that you were deadset on not having another and your partner starts hating you for it. You shouldn't force him into another child if he doesn't want a third.
If it was such a big deal, you should have discussed it prior to marriage.
You have 2 choices, stay in your marriage with your children already. Or if you feel like you need a second biological child, leave.