My partners been with me since my daughter was 2 and half months old and wants to adopt her.shes 2 now. The bio father hasn't been involved since she was 3 weeks old and hes never been on the birth certificate due to domestic violence and also pedophilia things he said about my daughter......so anyway we've started the adoption process but they've got to ask his permission and i know the only reason he'd say no is to hurt us!I'm so so scared that he's going to destroy and confuse my little girl who loves her daddy (my partner) can someone shed some light on what ex would have to do to get involved etc.
EDIT: we had to be moved so he didn't know our wareabouts and he didn't turn up to the birth signing.
Desperate uk mummy
15 Replies
Thanks for that but like i said SS told ex to stay away and are all aware of the abuse and the things he said about my dughter I don't know if you read that? My daughter is in my partners name by deedpol already anyway. Weve always known he was going to adopt so I'm sorry about youve taken it as I'm trying to build something out of spite when that is far from the case
Different commenter....it is different, if he adopts, he will have legal access to your child if you split.
All the other commenter is saying is that two years is not that long to be in a relationship and maybe reconsider later down the track, when you have been together more years. Some people are just moving in together at two years. It takes a really long time to fully know aLL sides of a person and this is a very legal, permanent and serious decision.
Maybe enjoy what you have and wait until child is a bit older and they can be part of the decision.
Maybe eight or nine?
We are very aware of the very legal obligation he will have he has a daughter from previous and we have a son together so we both know the commitment....were getting married next year and we've thought about this for a good while!I do thank you very much for your response though I appreciate all side of comments
we've wrote my daughter a diary aswell so she knows where she came from etc too :)
You need legal advice from a lawyer.
BUT no adoption is worth the potential of stirring up your exes interest in your child. If they haven’t already asked his permission, I’d cancel the application PRONTO.
Your child know who loves her. She doesn’t need an adoption to know that. Your child is 2, she doesn’t even understand what adoption means, beyond what you’ve told her. Not being adopted isn’t going to change her relationship with your new partner.
Let’s face it, the adoption is important to the adults, because it’s an adult concept, not a child concept.
Safety first.
Agree, nothing could be worth stirring him while hes absolutely out of the picture. Least of all to actively sign your child to someone else, but hey ho.
I also don’t think a two year old would be destroyed/confused about it all, especially if her mum doesn’t tell her about it. How would she even understand the complexities of it? Two years, you’ve had a kid to this guy, got engaged, want him to adopt your child. What’s the hurry? I think you need to calm down a bit.
If he's not on the birth I wouldn't have thought you would need his permission
You don't need his premier if he's not on the BC.
My husband adopted my son when he was 3 years old but we broke up wen he was 13 and the rx never sae him again by his choice.
And by the time they are 18, adoption is pretty much void when done anyway.
It's literally only until then .
My second husband took on my 7 month old but never adopted him. We did a deed poll sur name change only
Again no dad on BC ( his choice) That 7 month old is 16 today and this whole time has signed all legal documents along with me. With my consent it is legal. Adoption is not necessary .
That is sad and also a really good example of why adoption needs to be so seriously considered. If you're not willing to be a parent to the child if the relationship ended then you shouldn't adopt!
Thanks very much everyone I do appreciate all the comments.
I’m in QLD and looked at step parent adoption years ago. My kids had no contact with their bio father due to him having had his other kids removed by child safety. I was advised against adoption by a lawyer due to my ex being likely to fight the matter in court. ‘Opening a can of worms’ was her response. Our case was complex because prior to losing his other children to child safety he’d fight me in court for contact and then not take the contact that was ordered and would just take them when he wanted to on a week which ‘was’ contact’. So basically he was given in court half school holidays, every second weekend and one day over night on the off week. We’d show up every fortnight, he wouldn’t - this would go on for a few months and then I would stop going to the meeting point (he hadn’t showed up for months)!and then he’d show up (us not there) and I’d have my ass back in court for not showing up.
Thanks again everyone very much i appreciate your concern etc but you've only had a snapshot of our lives and a full insight cannot be conducted from a paragraph!
My father adopted me (no dad on my birth certificate). It was done after my mum and he married - quiet a few years after.
It was annoying, as we needed the bio fathers go ahead - I've never met him or know anything about it so he was easy going with it.
Good luck
Anyone who is recognised as your child’s legal parent, provided they have parental responsibility, will need to consent to an adoption order. This always includes the birth mother, but may not include the biological father. For example, if the biological father is not named on the birth certificate and so does not have parental responsibility, his formal consent is not required to an adoption order.
Even if your child’s other parent does not have parental responsibility and their consent is not technically required, the court will investigate the circumstances carefully and may seek his/her opinion and feelings about the process since an order will permanently extinguish their status.
https://www.familylaw.co.uk/news_and_comment/how-do-i-apply-for-step-par...
What if the biological father does not consent?
This can wreck a potential adoption. In order to proceed, the biological father must be considered an unfit parent or have committed abandonment by the courts. Documentation of the child’s life for up to a year or more might be required to prove this.
If you believe the other parent will refuse to consent or has already refused, it is best to get into contact with a family law lawyer. An experienced attorney can navigate the stormy waters of state law better than anyone else and come to a resolution.
https://www.siyanda.org/adopt-stepchild-father-absent/