I am currently a part time foster mum (long back story) but basically they move between us and their nan. They are both under 16 and I have just discovered they have joined Facebook secretly and are friends with their mum (which is against DOCS orders)
My question is when my hubby and I talk to them do we make them close Facebook and run the risk of them sneaking or do we say they can have Facebook but because they have joined under age we need the passwords to monitor it????? Whilst also reporting the contact with their mum to DOCS.
I'm so confused
2 Replies
Oh wow.
While it is against rules that they have contact with Mum, the legal age for Face Book is 13. (Personally I feel it should be 18)
With out knowing any of the back ground, the people involved or the situation it is hard to comment. If you feel that they should be able to have that contact with Mum then I'd suggest it has to be open and accessible by yourself, explaining that given the situation it is for their safety that you wish to do thes. Let them know that it's not that you don't trust these children but more so you can monitor the behaviour of the others on there as well. Then if you see anything untoward go to the appropriate authorities.
Sometimes a child just needs a few words with Mum to feel a little more normal, even if it it just a sentence here & there. Maybe it could be a step in the right direction to healing this family.
You'll have to trust your gut instinct on this and follow through. If you do allow it to continue set some very clear guidelines on how you expect each to behave with the privilege of face book as well as consequences for anything that is not appropriate from both sides.
Good luck!
My 13 year old has. Fb it is heavily monitored, I feel it's unrealistic to force a child to go without age appropriate technology that all their peers have in saying that I read her message check her friends block people I don't like and make sure she's not uploading crap. I think in this case you should proberly Let them keep it and heavily monitor it and yes report the breach to docs maybe even ask docs what they would prefer. Good luck the mum should also have known better and not added them. Xo