What is inappropriate contact with a work colleague? And when is it cheating?

Anon Imperfect Mum

What is inappropriate contact with a work colleague? And when is it cheating?

What is inappropriate interactions when married and other person single?

Calling someone else sexy in a flirtatious way but pretending innocence
Like ohh that’s sexy & so is the X 😉😉

Calling someone babe etc
Sending kissy faces or kisses
Lots of affectionate emojis

Sending sexually explicit messages/memes

Deleting msgs after sending and admitting it

Asking what someone is wearing?
Then them telling - underwear, nothing etc

Going to their house for long periods of time when supposedly elsewhere and without prior knowledge of their spouse or not mentioning to spouse after
Possibly Sleeping at said house at any time again without checking off with spouse
Deleting proof of msgs showing they were there

Keeping in almost daily contact

Phone calls during work hours

Rostering to be on together

Trying to organise time away together for 5 days to do a work organised training thing
Trying to ensure post lockdown for more freedoms

Is any or all of this over the line? There is no proof of sexual cheating.

Posted in:  Relationships & Marriage

14 Replies

Anon Imperfect Mum

All of the above is over the line and if they’ve slept at the others house without letting partner know i would hazard a guess they have had sexual contact.

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Anon Imperfect Mum

All of it is cheating! Way over the line.

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Anon Imperfect Mum

They have crossed the working relationship line - they’re in a sexual relationship.

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Anon Imperfect Mum

I mean this in the kindest possible way but how much more proof do you need?
They might as well be shagging right in front of you if this is how they're behaving!

If one of these people is your partner, run for your life! And do yourself a favour and get yourself a sexual health check up.

If they're just 2 people you work with, I'd consider taking it to HR or higher management because that's all massively inappropriate workplace behavior.

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Anon Imperfect Mum

Some of this is potentially fine. But all together, it's painting the picture that there us a relationship.

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Anon Imperfect Mum

Its cheating if its a secret.

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Anon Imperfect Mum

Yes of course

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Anon Imperfect Mum

There is no proof of sexual cheating? Honey, everything you just put in this post is proof.

They're fucking.

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Anon Imperfect Mum

All points to physically cheating, sorry 💕

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Anon Imperfect Mum

Every single sentence of this for me is cheating. People have different opinions on what they consider to be crossing the line and it's important that you communicate your opinion so he knows how you feel and to respect your expectations.
Don't let him gas light you into thinking you are overreacting or if you don't have concrete proof then you are in the wrong.
He is definitely in the wrong here in my opinion, if it's not sexual yet it's definitely emotional cheating in the least.
I'm so sorry. Good luck xx

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Anon Imperfect Mum

Omg no sign of cheating.. sorry but they are all signs!

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Anon Imperfect Mum

Don’t be so naive... it’s cheating!! It’s happening. Get rid of him or her!!

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Anon Imperfect Mum

Definitely not OK if any of these things breach your own personal boundaries and you need to tell them this. Search for 'emotional affair' online to get clarification but even if it's not physical, it's still cheating. I've been in this situation and only confronted my husband of 13 years after I became suspicious and found emails and phone records that confirmed pretty much everything you mention. He denied his feelings for the woman at first, but then admitted that he didn't know where the relationship might have gone if I didn't intervene. He definitely made the choices he did, and has had to bear the consequences... including losing the trust of my family, who were not initially so forgiving. It's taken a long time to regain the trust. I've had to accept that our relationship changed from those moments and I have had to work really hard on acceptance and forgiveness where many others would not.
First step is to say this behaviour is not OK and request they cut off all non-professional contact if they intend to stay with you. This is essential to maintain trust. They will likely react by telling you that you don't trust them, but the truth is, they are giving you reason not to. If that request isn't respected (they continue to be secretive or maintain contact non-professionally) , it's time to evaluate whether the relationship needs to end.
My husband was on a slippery slope, and we did need to address issues within our marriage that were unresolved, but the relationship he had with his colleague, despite not being physical, was incredibly damaging and nearly resulted in our separation. 3 years on and I will never forget what happened, but I know where my boundaries are and will not accept behaviour like that again.

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Anon Imperfect Mum

All cheating/intentiin. My hubby would be my ex if he did 1/4 of this. Wow just wow, its like they are pushing how far they can take it before you leave.

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