Need some advice. My husband and I have been together 12yrs and married for 4.
We have 2 children together and we both work.
He works night shifts where I work morning so there is always some there for the kids before and after school.
Just this week he has told me he has fallen out of love and is sick of going around in the same circle, we will go through these patches and promise to make changes and it will last a few months and I guess we just get comfortable and it all starts again.
He says he will move out in a few months once we have the last of our debt paid off, so iv asked for the next few months can we both just make an effort to keep our promises and work at our marriage, but he just says "we've been here before, and it will just go in another circle"
Has anyone else been through something similar? Do I just give up and let him walk away or do I keep fighting for us.
8 Replies
Let him go. He’s told you the truth. Start planning and working towards seperate lives. The worst thing my ex did was try to make me stay when I told him the same thing. It just built conflict between us because I felt I wasn’t being heard.
It's so hard to let go of 12yrs 😭
I’m sure my ex felt the same but reality is once they come to you with that sort of statement it’s been over quite a while for them. For me personally about 2 years before I had the courage to say it. I know it’s a shock and you are not yet on the same page. For the sake of the children try to be amicable and business like with him. Cry in the cupboard and to friends who you can trust.
Let him go.. become fierce and independent and he is likely to be reattached to you!
But you will also find in that time you will be less attracted to him!
Re-attracted
Let him go.
My ex husband wouldn’t listen when I told him the exact same thing. Even when I moved out of our bedroom and into my sons. I felt trapped and miserable.
You’ve got this.
are you fighting for you marriage or just what you are comfortable with? is the fear of the unknown making you want by your in admissions a sub average marriage? I would want to know if he is already seeing someone? or if he has just come to the end of the line. At least he is not trying to screw you financially and seems to want a calm split. you are already ahead of the curve. If you are serious about trying might be time to change work and make real time to connect, book afterschool care, have a date night make a real effort, if you both keep going back to your old ways perhaps you are done too? Good luck believe in yourself, you are strong and capable.
My ex husband said the same to me, and wasn’t prepared to work through things. Truth is he had met someone else. I hope for your sake that’s not the case here, but if he’s adamant he’s done you just need to accept it and try your best to move on. Focus on you and your children. It’s such a difficult and painful time, but life does get better post divorce.