Hi
I've known a guy for two years now
And I've just recently found out that his been lieing to me
About his job
For the whole time I've known him..
I haven't tried anything
Yet in ways of asking him if what I've found out is true
I'm just sooo lost in how to go about doing this
Asking him I mean
And asking why he thought he had the need to lie to me
Hopefully this makes sense
How do I find out the truth
Thursday, 23 July 2020 - 12:52
How do I find out the truth
Posted in:
Life Lessons
7 Replies
Is he a friend or a boyfriend that you are in a romantic relationship with?
Posting this three times hoping for different answers will annoy people. So you are going to have to go into detail.
If this is a romantic partner you were planning to share finances with/move in with/have kids with then yes you need to get to the bottom of it.
If it’s just a friend then it doesn’t really matter but you just ask nicely. Eg ‘I heard a rumour, would like to know your thoughts about it?’ Is a good start.
I think romantic because if it was friend they wouldn't be a friend any more. OP really should think what she would do if it was a friend and let that lead.
Honestly don’t waste time finding out. A liar is a liar why would you expect honesty??
Life’s too short. Only fill your tribe with people worth your time!
Deleyete phone number and be done with it. Dont even waste ypur time letting him lie, apologise, make up, waste another 2 years until you find out hes done it again or even something else the entire time... surely a 2 year lie is beyond the line for you? just be done.
If he's not doing anything illegal just leave it.
So, I read your earlier post and this one but i still feel like I need more clarification.
"He's lied about his work" is really vague, that could mean a ton of different things!
Does it mean he lead you to believe he's the CEO of a multi million dollar company when he really works at KFC?
Does it mean he's just bullshitted about being at work a few times when he's really been out with the boys?
Does it mean he's just kind of exaggerated the importance of his role?
Does it mean he's really been unemployed this whole time?
To me, those details matter because the lie that stemmed from each of the hypothetical scenarios I mentioned above has a different motivation ranging from straight up deceit and manipulation to just trying to portray himself in a more appealing way to lying out of shame or embarrassment.
The real question is, why does it matter to you so much?
If he were just some guy you've known for 2 years, i feel like you wouldn't be this invested. Do you have feelings for him? Does he have feelings for you?
Whats the deal?
(You certainly dont need to tell me any of that, it's none of my businesses but it's something you need to think about and the implications of the lie).
Assuming you get the truth, are you prepared for it?
What does that change?
Is it really the truth you want or do you just want to call him out?
Exactly what I was thinking.