MARRIAGE help !! story cut short iv been with my husband 15 years married most of them but recently I found him talking to another girl and been seeing her behind my back he said nothing sexualy happen they just talked and she listen coz apparently i don't all the time and they huged a few times ect but the thing is he has done this a few times over 15 years same reasons and this time I feel there was more with this one there was feeling starting im so hart broken more then ever i don't think i can get past this but the thing is i love him so much his my ride or die and we have kids together he wants to go to concerling ans get help for him and for us witch I want to do but I dont think I can get over this i dont know what to do try or not is it over ??? Any advise for people been through this i would appreciate it xx
6 Replies
Do you know what ‘ride or die’ means?
I mean you either have expectations and standards you will accept or he really is your ride or die?
I personally don’t believe anyone should have a ride or die. It’s just not a healthy way to go into a relationship. It basically means you’ll put up with anything in order to stay in the relationship.
It’s up to you what you’ll put up with. I probably would have expected marriage counselling to be the minimum expectation the first time he pulled this stunt. I also think three times is no longer a mistake but a pattern!
Personally this isn't acceptable and I wouldn't have stayed the first time. The only reason it hasn't turned into more is because he got caught. It evenutally would of happened if he kept hanging out with her. And he thinks he can just talk you around to forgiveness again.
He is going to continually do this, for as long as you allow the behaviour.
Bhubahuo
Sexual stuff HAS happened. He’s continuing this behaviour because the first time it happened, you stayed with him. You’re vulnerable/naive and he knows you will put up with his behaviour and believe him when he tells you nothing happened.
Leave his stupid ass.
It was just a hug love.. he’s a liar and cheater and they always want to get councilling once they’ve been found out. It’s their way over covering their ass and pretending to fix what they stuffed by cheating. Just a hug 🤦🏼♀️
He didn’t only do this to you but to your kids! He’s lying still, he cheated.. keep digging and snooping.
You’ll find more! He’s just covering himself here. Stop being naive and start opening your eyes to his lies and every move. Everything unusual. He’s cheating!
Put yourself and your kids first.. they are everything and so if your happiness. Stuff the cheater! Think of you and your kids!
I have just experienced this and it is heart breaking!! I tried my hardest to make it work/change his mind. He stuck with his original decision that he wanted to end 20 yr relationship because it just wasn't there anymore.
9 months down the track and I am the best person I have been in many years! First 4 months I was a wreck, then one day I just woke up and told myself that I was going to be ok. From that day forward I have loved life. I am a better mum to my children, a better friend ( lots of new friendships formed in this time) and most importantly a better person for me.
I didn't know, I too was actually unhappy in my marriage until then. So I am glad he called it. He has now moved onto a new relationship with a friend that 'was only ever friends' and they only ever 'talked'
Good luck to them 😂