Hi ladies.
Just a quick one - mainly for mums who’s partners work away. My partner is working away at the moment. Actually maybe a vent not a question. But do any mums get a bit jealous when their partner gets to enjoy a night out almost every Saturday night they are away. He works 6 days a week so has sundays off so they all head to the pub for some drinks on Saturday afternoon/night. I guess I’m just the home mum who looks after the house and kids while he works away (I still work part time too). I guess it’s a jealousy thing. I don’t have many friends and the ones I do have are not big drinkers. I don’t mind having a few here and there, but don’t when my partner is away. I always wait till he is home and have a few with him.
I really don’t know what my question was but just kind of a vent and needed to get the jealousy Demon out!!
I know it’s got to be hard for him working away and missing the family and me like he tells me. And he is doing it for us and our future.
Fifo jealousy
Fifo jealousy
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage
5 Replies
Why can’t you go out for the night when he is home?
I would assume jealousy would be normal in these situations. He gets a kid/work free night every week. When do you get your kid/work/stress free time? When he is home you should be getting some ‘me’ time. It doesn’t have to be a night out drinking with friends. It could be lunch or dinner with friends, a massage, a mani/pedi, sitting on the beach staring at the horizon. It can be time to do whatever makes you happy, where you don’t have to worry about the kids, or the housework, or anything else. It’s time to refill your bucket so that you are at your best to keep things going when he is away again.
Try not to be jealous. He is away working hard. Organise a night out yourself get a babysitter have dinner with friends.
Don’t sweat the small stuff.. allow him time to socialise and give yourself the same.
I don’t get jealous, I think he needs that break and is enjoying the one night of downtime he gets but I make sure that when he is home that I go out with friends either to dinner, movies, and spend a night out somewhere and enjoy a night of down time for myself. I had 3 under 5 and it’s bloody exhausting! When he is home I book in and get a massage, get my nails or hair done just spend a good day and one good night on myself. Because I need that break too. I used to say to my husband you are so lucky, you get to eat on you own, sleep in a bed on your own, talk with other adults and just have time on your own. But I am luckier because I have my kids with me day and night and he misses out on so much. He did used to get quite cranky and say I think he is there on a holiday 😂 well for me having a shower on my own is like having a holiday! It’s so hard on both of you. He ended up leaving after 7 years because I was so exhauted and so was he. Be careful for what you set up now on his wage because you don’t want him stuck in that job when the time comes that you both don’t like it anymore. It’s hard going back to a lower income, so set up your living standards as you would on a lower income and get out of it starts affecting your relationship.you will end up hating it all eventually. It does wear both of you down, especially mum who’s home with kids. It’s exhausting.
I’ve been both the parent at home and the parent who is away all the time for work.
Being the parent who is away from home is by far the hardest (especially when you live in a mining camp while you are away).
After a 12 or 13 hour day at work you go back to camp with 2 thousand other people, have some usually pretty awful sloppy dinner and then go back into your shoe box of a room. Having something social to do once a week is a necessity when you spend so much time alone without your family. And to be fair, if it’s anything like the mining towns I’ve worked in, the pub is probably nothing flash so not even remotely like a night out at home.
The money might be good but the sacrifices and mental health risks that come with it are very real.
On the flip side, when I was the one at home while my partner travelled for weeks at a time I had the exact same feelings as you are now. It’s hard when you’re stuck in the trenches with kids and you’re the only one left at home to manage everything.
I think you just need to talk to him and explain how you are feeling, but also be sure to recognise that while he might be away from home without the responsibilities but he’s also probably doing it pretty tough without you and the kids as well. X